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Simply..asking myself....

14/2/2017

10 Comments

 

..when did I last feel, if not exuberant, then enthusiastic? (See 4 Feb.)

The answer is quite recently when I went to see the excellent Joan Eardley exhibition in Edinburgh. She lived to paint - there were few distractions from painting in her life.

I have been having difficulty painting myself, and think that perhaps I might sustain myself on other artists' creativity for a time, until my own impulse to create returns. My paintings, I have realised, come from the joyous part of me and from a surplus of energy I used to have in abundance. This quotation from Picasso has always made sense to me - that idea of a surplus of energy overflowing onto the canvas..

I go for a walk in the forest of Fontainebleau. I get 'green' indigestion.I must get rid of this sensation into a picture. Green rules it. A painter paints to unload himself of feelings and visions.

Both my joy and my energy have been subdued by grief this past year, and I think I must seek out and treasure all the things that create a little spark until, hopefully, the spark becomes a flame.

I have accepted that it can't be forced.

A visit to Glasgow with a friend created several little sparks of enthusiasm...

Picture
Picture
Picture
10 Comments
Lotta link
14/2/2017 02:22:39 pm

And who knows what wonderful things might overflow when you've filled yourself again... x

Reply
Freda
15/2/2017 04:02:18 pm

Who knows!

Reply
Madeleine Lawrence
15/2/2017 01:56:07 am

Hello Freda,

don't worry about not having the urge to paint. After losing a large part of my home in a fire back in November I couldn't play the piano, even though I knew it would surely help me feel better. Suddenly, at the 7 week mark, I started playing and couldn't stop!

I haven't played much lately due to the demands of rebuilding the house and working, but I'm trusting that once things feel more settled I will again find joy in my art.

Madeleine.x

Reply
Freda
15/2/2017 04:04:12 pm

I am so sorry to hear of such an awful event Madeleine, but how kind of you to share your thoughts about it. Thank you.

Reply
Julia
15/2/2017 03:48:56 am

And this fallow time is just as important, and natural, as the joyful times.....when something major happens to shift our entire lives, as has happened to you, Freda, and to Madeleine...we have to: "rewrite the story of what it means to be me."...most likely as that story emerges, the exuberance will emerge....but i see glimmers...these photos above were taken with an eye for joy. I am smiling to look at them!

Reply
Freda
15/2/2017 04:07:45 pm

You are so right Julia. I am missing Barry terribly and have just realised I am also missing the 'me' that I was with him, and am having to rewrite the story....but there are glimmers as you say.

Reply
Mary
15/2/2017 09:03:02 am

Notice how even in those dark photos (due to weather or location), you sought out light and colour and focused upon them. Something you have been doing in your photos for some time. It just hasn't spilled over--yet.

Reply
Freda
15/2/2017 04:08:51 pm

I like the 'yet' Mary. Thank you.

Reply
Grace
15/2/2017 01:18:20 pm

Thank you for sharing those photos of our home town : they certainly sparked off some joy in me. Like nature in winter, we all have times when we need to take breathing space, just observe and regenerate.

Reply
Freda link
15/2/2017 04:10:01 pm

I am glad you like the photos Grace - more soon, and thank you for your wise words.

Reply



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    Simple
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    Simply Chill
    Simply Christmas
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    An artist seeking a simpler life - (but not too simple!)

    All words and images copyright Freda Waldapfel 2010 - 2020

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