I was conditioning the lilacs by crushing their stems so that they can take up water - they are from the garden, from a tree which we cut to the ground years ago because it was spindly and sad looking. They are scenting the whole room.
I was thinking too of my childhood conditioning. Buying myself flowers is one of the ways I treat myself well. Growing up in a poor part of a big city I remember that we could not buy the first flowers (daffodils) that came into the local fruit and vegetable shop because they were too expensive. We had to wait until the price went down. It was the same with strawberries. So flowers were an extravagance.
Perhaps an advantage of growing up relatively poor is that you never take the non-essentials for granted. I still get a thrill when I buy flowers and get a huge thrill from growing and picking them. If I buy myself an expensive bunch I almost feel a bit rebellious! Kind of defiant. If I am hesitating over them - and I usually am - I find that asking myself 'Whyever not?' allows me to go ahead, as I have not yet come up with a good reason why I should not have them I never regret it.....crazy really!
There's a lot going on emotionally in the simple act of buying a bunch of flowers and of treating myself well.
Does something from your childhood stop you from treating yourself well?