Simply..not about the stuff....

30/10/2018

The shed was Barry's domain. He was the patient fixer of things, he mowed the lawns, replaced the lightbulbs, made the gates both red and yellow, cut the hedges, climbed the ladders into the loft, dealt with the mice, mended the fence, chopped the wood, and more. He also kept all the leftover bits and pieces from every job he did and hoarded sets of tools for cars and bikes long gone and collected more jars of rusty nails than can be imagined! Just in case.

In a fair world women would not be left to clear out their mens sheds.

But what a support team I have behind me! I loved all your suggestions - I will adopt the explorer/playful/inner child mindset, I will whistle up the courage, I will probably sigh and swear and laugh (my helper has a great sense of fun). Bribery is a great idea, and I am already thinking up ways to celebrate....

14 Comments

Susan

30/10/2018 11:21:51 pm

If you find some vintage tools of Barry's (lovely old tools with wooden handles), small tools, maybe you could polish a couple up, and display them. They're beautiful things and will have his energy.

Freda

31/10/2018 12:36:58 am

There is somewhere in there a small wooden spirit level....thanks Susan.

Mary

31/10/2018 02:27:13 am

Best of luck with the work today. Sorry I haven't been around to offer more encouragement. If it is any consolation, in the same circumstance I would have to clear not only a very large Amish storage shed, but two, two car garages absolutely chuck full floor to ceiling (though I always make sure the space for my car is clear). Virtually none of the stuff is mine. Swearing would be involved. Does that help? :)

Freda

31/10/2018 02:42:27 am

Well it does put it in a different perspective Mary! I shall now think of it as an easy task, so yes,it does help and thank you.

cath

31/10/2018 03:34:24 am

By what you are writing today you are making me aware how love is present even in a place like a dreaded shed, or garage and storage room below come to think of it.

It is present in a word like 'patient' and 'and more' as well as 'just in case'.

And as I can see Barry at work now, with that comes the awareness how clearing (t)his shed for you again will be a letting go of love- filled memories now cloaked as piles of stuff and leftover bits. And I suddenly feel the urge to offer you a big hug. Take care Freda.

Freda

31/10/2018 01:40:48 pm

That hug (and those thoughts) are really appreciated Cath.

Lotta link

31/10/2018 09:38:34 am

I think sheds can hold as much history of life lived as our houses. The sentimental part of me would have to keep one jar of rusty nails... :-) But on a practical note, what I found helpful when I did mine was to get rid of the things that made the most difference first so that I felt like I was getting somewhere. And also to just do two piles - keep and rid, and then decide afterwards how best to dispose of the items. Do you know about Tools for Self-Reliance? I don't know if there's a volunteer collector in your area but might be worth checking out. www.tfsr.org
Go gently... hope there's more laughter than tears. Swearing helps :-)

Freda

31/10/2018 01:44:23 pm

Even sheds can be full of emotion! The tools even the rusty ones, are destined to become art works by a sculptor friend. I must post some images of her work sometime...Gently and swearing don't seem to go together - a bit of gentle swearing? We'll see.

Rosemary

31/10/2018 09:56:32 am

When you have done it, put a down-payment on/ buy yourself a fabulous pair of shoes/ some beads/ that piece of glass you coveted earlier. You know you deserve it...

Freda

31/10/2018 01:45:21 pm

Bribery treats and celebration. I always believed more in carrots than sticks!

Damsonlily

31/10/2018 01:29:13 pm

Watching everything with great interest and sympathy and loving all the original ideas and thoughts and funny things people are coming up with.
I really recognise your difficulties here. My other half was around to clear his own shed when we moved, although he did enlist the help of a friend. There was a lot. A Lot.

Based on that, may I offer a couple of suggestions that might help?Men in Sheds (or Mens Sheds) would probably be delighted with tools, etc. And any textile artists you know who like to indulge in a spot of eco-dyeing will be very grateful for your rusty nails to put in the dye pot.
I’m not sure whether you participate in FaceBook? (Sorry if this is a forbidden word here!) Despite its reputation, I moved on a lot of things through the local Buy and Sell group, most of which I asked very little for and a lot went for free.
I met some truly lovely people doing that and heard lots of heartwarming stories. One man explained to us how he wanted our old decrepid bikes to do up and go riding with his son, (currently at university studying medicine, so he could have some hope of finding a cure for his mother’s terminal illness). The same man texted me out of the blue a few months later to say how much they were enjoying the bikes and to wish us well in our new home.
It somehow made the serious clearing and downsizing a lot easier and also made me happy to feel I had helped a few folks a little bit.
No doubt other groups are available!

Freda

31/10/2018 01:58:26 pm

I'm glad you are enjoying this conversation too Damsonlily and that you got the shed cleared for your move. As I said above the tools are destined to be made into scu;tures - a noble end - and one of the reasons for clearing it this week was that this Sunday the Village Conservation Group are having a Pound Sale and my next door neighbour is collecting the stuff so some will go there and I won't even have to carry it far! I hadn't thought of that use for the rusty nails! I just use Facebook with close family really but can see how useful that could be - what a good experience you had with it. It is much easier to get rid of things when you know someone else can use them isn't it.

Julia

1/11/2018 04:23:00 am

My suggestion is similar, Freda. Assemblage artists, even some collage artists, would go crazy to have new/old materials of all kinds! Building materials, bits and pieces, all sorts of interesting screws and rings and wire, even computer boards. Put the word out on “freegle” and you might even find someone to come and take it away for you. When the person arrives who sees barry’s treasures in the same way he did, you will feel a lot better about letting it all go! And perhaps a very merry christmas to that person, and to you! Here’s another thought...perhaps you and your daughter and grandson could see some inspiring bits to make a garden ornament of some kind to remember Barry...just thinking...:-) and sending warm hugs..xoxoxo

Freda

1/11/2018 02:47:32 pm

I am hoping lots of artists will come to the village hall Pound Sale which is where most of the stuff is headed! Those hugs are very comforting Julia. x

Simply..not about the stuff....

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