Simply..the Friday Fling

15/1/2015

Are you using the Marie Kondo book? How are you doing?

I said I'd share my experience of visualising the outcome of using The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying. The conversation with myself went something like this....

Why do I want to tidy?

Because I like an orderly environment.

Why do I like an orderly environment?

Because it makes me feel calm.

Why do I want to feel calm?

To balance the busyness inside my head. (I actually typed busymess!! Freudian slip there..)

Why do I want to balance the busyness....

And so on. In order to commit fully to this process says Kondo, you need to think more deeply than I want a tidy house. What I saw more clearly after this discussion with myself was that I get overwhelmed and stressed if both my outer and inner worlds are full/busy/cluttered/disorganised/clogged.

I'm an ideas person with lots of projects on the go. My head is very full!

My impatient self couldn't wait to get to 'click point' in the sitting room, just to feel what it is like. Let me tell you it feels great! The more I did it, the easier it got though I was surprised at just how much time it took. I fully accept Kondo's reasoning as to why you should deal with the sentimental stuff last, and so put the pile of letters upstairs with the photographs for now.

Gretchen Rubin in The Happiness Project wrote Outer order contributes to inner calm. I couldn't agree more. As I sit in the sitting room tonight it is silent in a beautiful way. Nothing is shouting at me, nothing, even inside the drawers and cupboards is niggling or nagging me. The woodburner hums quietly. So peaceful.

I love it, and the idea of the whole house feeling like this is exciting.

An important reminder - When she says quickly and all at once, Kondo means over six months!

I can do this.

Next - clothes, which shouldn't take too long as I cleared out and organised the wardrobe quite recently.

(There are more posts on this subject under Simpy Organise.)

Enough for 12 (sorry,four maximum for boiled eggs..)

First total sort of all 16 drawers in 14 years! Yay!

20 Comments

Alison

15/1/2015 10:16:56 am

Most of all, I want to feel at ease and having everything organized helps me achieve that state. I get a feeling of lightness and openness when there is a place for everything and everything is in its place -- I don't mean this in a rigid way, but in a way that is comfortable, easy to manage and allows space for spontaneity and joy.

Why do I want to feel at ease? Well - I see it as a state that is incompatible with anxiety. If I'm at ease, I'm not anxious, and I do have a tendency to become anxious, which affects my ability to get things done, "seize the moment", and let things that aren't important go.

I became especially anxious after a big move overseas a few years ago, followed by a prolonged serious illness and death in my immediate family. I was also under a lot of strain at work. I handled a lot of it - however, it all felt very overwhelming and I now see the process of letting things go and organizing as a means to let the difficult times go as well as the anxiety. I'm also an ideas person like you, Freda, and overwhelm can be an issue if anxiety goes into overdrive because I feel like I'm drowning in stuff or paper. (Even if other people would look at the same things and not get the same feeling.)

I find the KonMari method especially helpful in the way that it provides a way of filtering things in terms of what is most meaningful and personal - in short, what defines who you are and your areas of focus in life. Although I find a lot of minimalists' stories inspiring (and I found your blog through missminimalist.com), I also know that I'm not a hard core minimalist when it comes to things. I would find a very minimalist space difficult to live in, however, I am quite minimalist in that I don't own a car and live in a relatively small space.

Most recently, I've been extending the KonMari method (or my interpretation of it) to food, i.e., areas like inside my fridge, freezer and pantry along with some loose meal planning by keeping a list of the dishes I plan to make over the course of a week or on the weekend when making batches to freeze. With this in hand, it's easy to mix and match from the "menus" as whims dictate. It makes everything related to food easier, faster and I never feel like there aren't things on hand that are quickly prepared and healthy. It's also much less wasteful and less expensive than "hit and miss" food shopping.

Alison

15/1/2015 10:22:27 am

I'm re-reading this and it is looongg. Anyway, it all comes down to simplicity being an attractive ideal for me rather than hard core minimalism. Everything about your blog reflects simplicity in an elegant way. The name of your blog says it all!!

Freda

16/1/2015 06:03:27 am

I enjoyed your comment Alison, and your observation about keeping the meaningful and personal - after all why would you want to keep the meaningless and impersonal in your home?

Lucille link

15/1/2015 05:04:31 pm

Yes I was initially misled by the time frame in which this was supposed to be achieved. I thought you were supposed to set aside one solid chunk of time to clear everything in one fell swoop!
I have been astonished by how much time it takes. Books alone have been hard physical work but well worth it, especially as I have been able to raise some funds for even the most abstruse titles on Amazon Trade In and other second hand books sites. I bought proper book mailing wraps so that I didn't have to hunt around for enough suitable packing materials.

Freda

16/1/2015 06:05:45 am

It is time consuming to handle every single thing as recommended - but I do think that's the bit that makes the difference between this and other decluttering methods. Glad it's working for you too - even with books! (the hardest)

cath

16/1/2015 12:36:41 am

Felt quite stuck this week and I did spend time just sitting 'feeling' the spaces. This afternoon my copy of the book finally arrived. Next hurdle to tackle: I'm such a slow reader... maybe I'll start visualising already. A specific part I should/could best read first you think?

Freda

16/1/2015 06:09:08 am

Pages 41 - 44 in my copy Cath...it is all about how you feel - happy hopefully!

cath

17/1/2015 12:49:41 am

Thank you, Freda!

Swissrose link

16/1/2015 01:41:21 am

Marie Kondo would have overwhelmed me if I were just beginning, I think. Maybe. My own process has been ongoing for over 15 years (since I read Janet Luhr's Simple Living book which arrived at absolutely the right moment!) and has been in layers. Over the last few years I've experienced why I needed to go through the process - as the middle generation of 5 living generations, I would never manage to support the other 4 generations with their needs and problems if I hadn't been in an enLIGHTened place myself. This inspires me to carry on shedding those onion skins; the older 2 generations won't be there forever and I will need to know what I want next when the time comes (although that is ongoing, too, as chunks of freedom plop into my lap as rewards for having decluttered!) but for now, I'm really able to enjoy the present and the people...
(Actually, I am in the most soothing minimalist holiday flat just now and my daughter phoned me to say she is cleaning our house for my return… wonders will never cease!)

Alison

16/1/2015 02:40:32 am

I can relate on several points. Marie Kondo would have overwhelmed me as well if I hadn't already started working to peel back the onion's layers that you refer to. Her book seems to reflect her own learning and the evolution of her thinking. That being said, her insights are really helpful and I could see them being interesting even for someone at the beginning of the decluttering process -- I find myself dipping into the book periodically and experiencing another "aha" moment as I see how I can apply something to my own situation.

I can't imagine being in the middle of 5 generations. It is challenging enough being a middle layer of three at times! You deserve a medal for your fortitude and good nature.

Freda

16/1/2015 06:14:05 am

I also have these dip-in aha moments - so nice to get so much from a book..

Freda

16/1/2015 06:11:11 am

Chunks of freedom sound like a great reward! What a kind daughter...

Swissrose link

16/1/2015 01:44:27 am

PS I also meant to say I kept "enough for 12" for ages but in my house, it never really happened and we go to my eldest daughters' for the bigger celebrations, now, so I've stopped keeping anything like as much and have also found the courage to break "sets" up, which I wouldn't have dreamed of doing years ago! Quite a revelation. No more just-in-cases, well, not many ;)

Freda

16/1/2015 06:16:48 am

I only acquired 'sets' quite recently and love them. We use 12 maybe twice a year. So love these occasions..

Sarah link

16/1/2015 03:34:39 am

It looks so peaceful! Congratulations on getting through all those drawers. I know you have featured them before and you have obviously removed even more stuff this time! I love the comment about peeling away the onion skins! Sarah x

Freda

16/1/2015 06:18:26 am

The difference this time Sarah was I handled every single piece of paper this time - it feels so good. I expect you are feeling the benefit of your pre-move declutter.

Cathy

16/1/2015 06:38:46 am

The quote "Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful" by William Morris has resonated with me since I read it as a young girl. Marie kondo's "does it bring you joy" echoes that. "A place for everything and everything in its place" gives me the same feeling. When my home is "just so" I feel at peace and those things that are beautiful to me bring joy.

Freda

16/1/2015 06:41:15 am

Our homes should be places of joy and beauty - sanctuaries from the often mad world!

Madeleine

16/1/2015 08:05:05 am

The phrase 'nothing is shouting at me' really resonates. The problem for me when things in my environment are 'shouting' at me is that I find myself unable to do the things I need to do and want to do.

Now that I have quite a few peaceful places in my home I am finding I am much more productive, and am also relaxing enough to read a book and do things which bring me pleasure.

Has anyone else found that they are exhausted and can't do much the day after a big purge? Even though it's not always a huge physical effort I find the day after I clean and sort I'm just wiped out and a bit flat. I find the actual decluttering quite exhilarating, though!

Loved hearing how everyone else is going with this process.

Madeleine.x

Freda

17/1/2015 04:50:48 am

I do find I can only do so much at a time - decision making is tiring, there's no doubt about it. I comfort myself that I won't have to make a decision again about the things that go! Lovely to have some peaceful places in your home Madeleine.

Simply..the Friday Fling

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