I have been rethinking some practical things which take up a lot of my time and energy.
I pay someone to cut the grass and hedges now. I have withdrawn from the Open Gardens scheme as I can no longer keep the garden to that high standard. I feed the birds with only one feeder fixed to the window. I pay to have the outside of the windows washed once a month.
My late hustband (first time I have used that phrase - he was actually never late!) did a lot around the place. He cooked, shopped when he went swimiming which was three times a week, he gardened and stacked wood and brought in logs and fixed things and set mouse traps and took things to the recycling. When I could no longer drive because of my eye condition he drove me to the ferry and was there to meet me when I came back, and willingly took me wherever I wanted to go, he delivered paintings to galleries and, and, and....
I now do the work of two people. I am not feeling sorry for myself I am just saying that's how it is. That's the reality.
These are the practicalities. I haven't mentioned the fun outings, the shared meals and coffee breaks, the conversations, the love and the laughter. But that's a whole other story.
The point I want to make is that Barry generously gave me time to paint and to write. I want to paint again and have committed myself to a solo exhibition, so I must figure out how to get back to work and keep the house and garden going.
Something will have to give.
When circumstances change we have to change too.
Barry would also have got rid of that dead mouse in the cupboard! And climbed into the loft to find the source of the mysterious stain on the bedroom ceiling.
Off to do it now!
Any practical tips from readers who have experienced big changes in their circumstances most welcome....it is truly amazing how adaptable we are, don't you think?