Simply..what now?

1/10/2020

This autumn is an autumn like no other.

Normally this time of year is when I start looking at concert programmes with friends, exhivitions, ballet and theatre, classes (pilates in the yurt seems so long ago), planning Christmas, thinking of travel plans for winter and for next year...all in abeyance alas. I have to acknowledge the loss of my beautiful life, so painstakingly rebuilt after Barry died. In this sense I suspect we are all grieving losses of one kind or another.

So, What can we do?

The decision to 'put my house in order' is one of the bst decisions I have made of late, and I find there is plenty to do! One important difference is that these kinds of things and the support systems I have used (Marie Kondo, Fly Lady, Wim Hof) were never ends in themselves - they were the back up to the beautiful life I have just described. Now they are the main event!

Throuout October (is it really October?) I will think about, and more importantly act upon, different aspects of putting my house (ie life) in order and hope that it will interest you and that you might share, as Madeleine so eloquently did in her comment on this post, your thoughts and experiences.

After all, we are all in this coronavirus time together. It would have been much much worse without you... thank you for being here.

The decorating is finished!!

11 Comments

Madeleine Lawrence

1/10/2020 04:53:35 pm

I woke up this morning determined to part with some of my tea pots! I have seven - guilty as charged! Actually, some were gifts, some were bad buys - eg too heavy and large when they arrived in the post.

Freda, I really feel for you having to put on hold the new life you had rebuilt for yourself. It can take a lot of courage just to get up some mornings, can't it? I'm wondering could you do some virtual gallery tours, and watch some concerts live online, or perhaps live on radio? Here we have the ABC, similar to the BBC in the UK, and you really can almost feel as though you are there during a live telecast.

I have lost track of your current rules - are you allowed to go to any restaurants or other public venues? How many visitors are you allowed? In my area rules have relaxed and I have been making the most of it in case they tighten again.

Perhaps we can see this extended and challenging period as a real period for interior work and inner growth, hopefully interspersed with the good things like fun, champagne and chocolate now and then!

And I think a daily walk is absolutely essential to keep one's spirits up. Have you ever read Alexandra Stoddard's books? She is an interior decorator, writer of modern philosophy and also lost her husband a few years ago. She is still writing and living a rich life.

Her ideas of ritualising the activities of everyday life and surrounding yourself with beauty really impacted me when I read them first, and I return to them in challenging times. She has a deep love or art and was close friends with the artist Roger Muhl. Here's her link. https://www.alexandrastoddard.com/newsletter
I think she would welcome correspondence from you if you felt so inclined!

Big hugs, Madeleine.X

Freda

2/10/2020 02:14:04 pm

Thank you for all this positivity! I was enjoying the easing of restrictions so much a couple of weeks ago but they have tightened again and that is hard - though I did meet afriend in town for coffee today. Who could have imagined it would be illegal to be with your family? Thank you for the link, and for all the great suggestions and good luck withh your clearing. There is indeed work to be done and much to enjoy.

Madeleine Lawrence

1/10/2020 04:54:44 pm

And hooray for the decorating!

Madeleine.X

Freda

2/10/2020 02:14:40 pm

They were so quick!

Sheena

2/10/2020 12:01:35 am

Well, this weekend you could just wander from room to room and revel in newly decorated space, enjoy. After that have you considered whether any of your friends might be interested in a weekly walk? Outdoors, exercise and company are all very good for the soul though you might have to invest in some good waterproofs. There are many classes, like pilates, on zoom and though it is not the same as attending in person there is still a connection and comfort in seeing the same faces each time. Despite all the technology available to us I think this winter will be , what might be described, as character building!

Freda

2/10/2020 02:20:15 pm

My word for the year is 'stronger' Sheena and I am definitely being challenged on that score (but winning, I think). There is a ten year old who likes walks....and I invested in new waterproofs when the old anorak fell on the newly painted stduio floor....
Thank you so much for the great ideas and the encouragement!

Susan

2/10/2020 01:18:25 am

Yes, you have been courageous in creating a new joyful life, whilst living with the loss of Barry. And, I feel for your loss of this slowly and careful crafted new life.

Now, I think ' we must all start again, and create a different new joyful life, as best we can within current circumstances.

Similarly to you, Freda, I'm finding that the mechanisms that I've been putting in place over the last couple of years, to create a bedrock that enables my life, have become the main event.

At present, I'm viewing it as a means of setting up & maintaining (physical health, positive spirit, energy for life, an orderly & functioning home, a visually joyful & comfortable home) so that I can be as positive & proactive as circumstances permit, to enjoy the life that is possible.
I'm way behind what you've achieved and you continue to inspire and energise me to proceed.

I'm loosely scheduling contact with others (I know this isn't very spontaneous but it ensures that I don't become a hermit) e.g. specific days when I will phone a friend, video-chat, attend a webinar or online class.

Freda, may I commend to you and your blog chums www.stayathomechoir.com
I've found it a salvation!
Do watch the videos that we contributed to.
They offer wonderful tutorials by singing professionals.
The young people who run it are so positive. No obligation to submit a video/audio: can just sing along if you wish. Free or donation.
And online worldwide group socials.

Wishing you a very good day, Susan.

Freda

2/10/2020 02:27:42 pm

Another inspiring comment Susan - thank you for this! I really appreciate it. The song 'pick yourself up, dust yourself down, start all over again' comes to mind and singing is probably a great idea and I look forward to visiting your website. I did have a very good day thanks :-)

Susan

2/10/2020 01:27:13 am

P.S. To watch the choir videos: click on See All Projects, then on the coloured image of your choice, then when open, unmute at the right bottom of that screen.

Gwendoline

2/10/2020 07:20:15 am

All of these comments are full of compassion and appreciation for the spiritual costs we have all paid and will continue to pay this year of years. All I can really add is that we are a lot tougher than we might think we are when we feel at our lowest. we look for, and find, little ways to help ourselves through the grim and gritty times. Universally among your comments I see people skilled at finding the grace notes of existence even in the teeth of difficulties that have no obvious end. One meme I've noticed that may resonate, although timescales may need to be adjusted slightly: "It's a bad day, NOT a bad life."

Freda

2/10/2020 02:30:15 pm

Beautifully put Gwendoline! Thank you so much. x

Simply..what now?

Leave a Reply.

Categories

Author

Archives