New body - Ministry of Waxing, from£15. Laser hair removal, between £600 and £1000. Medical pedicure £75. Velashape £500 for six sessions. Coolsculpting £800. A fish pedicure - yes little live fish devour your hard skin! Only £45. Quadruple thighpass £115 per hour. Or a tension suspension massage £780 for ten treatments....and..
New Skin - Pigment balancing £800 for six sessions. Pelleve £600 per session. Tri Polar System at £225 per hour. Non surgical facelift for £140. Collagen boosting £125. O2 Intraceuticals facial - a wand that uses pressurised oxygen to propel brightening and anti-ageing serum deep into the skin. Ouch! From £125. 'The best thing is that the skin visibly improves for about five days, though the effect begins to wear off after seven'.....!
New Hair - Trichology session from £375 an hour. Cut for £125. Colour correction work £150 till the end of February, or, wait for it, Hair Botox! A mere £15.
Perfect teeth? £800 per tooth.
My fitness kit (three books and a DVD) came to £20.33. (The Leo Babatua book was a present from Maggie).
AM I OR AM I NOT LOW MAINTENANCE?
Sometimes I feel I'm a stranger in my own land.
A poor stranger...