In this recent post about ambivalent and conflicting feelings on the current situation Susan said in her comment 'I am glad not to be alone in this feeling'.

I think that is my reason for talking about it here. I am sure I was not the only one heartened by the comments on this post. It helps so much to not feel alone!

We're all in it together though we may all have different views about it and varying responses to it. Some are so busy with extra responsibilities they don't have time to think about it all and just keep doing the best that they can. Many of us are  'frazzled' or ultrasensitive, some alternating exhaustingly between defiance and compliance, some overthinking. (Did anyone else ever read Women Who Think Too Much?) Singing and dancing is a brilliant response!  Some of us are all of the above on different days or even all in the one day.

It's so tiring.

'Agoraphobia-of-the-spirit' said Gwendoline in her comment on this post. What a brilliant expression for what is happening to many of us.
 
I found myself hesitating (momentarily) to publish the post about my exhibition visit yesterday. Not wanting to put myself out there, open to criticism and judgement. Feeling the need to explain myself and justify my trip. Fearing disapproval.

I went into town on the bus (I have no other means of transport). The buses are super-clean but freezing as all the windows are kept open! There is hand sanitiser, everyone wore a mask and socially distanced. Part way there the heavens opened and the windoscreen wipers were going full pelt and I thought 'I have a lovely cosy fire at home, why am I doing this?

However the rain eased and I got to the Burgh Hall cafe and a warm welcome, a bowl of spiced pumpkin soup and very pretty fresh flower table decorations (and name and contact number taken, hand sanitizing etc etc etc). The background buzz of conversation was delightful, the soup was delicious, and I began to relax.

The small exhibition was beautifully presented, with good information and I became thoroughly absorbed in it. That was why I was doing this!

I thanked the staff in the cafe and told them how much I loved the flowers, I sent an eamil to the organisers of the exhibition congratulating them, I told the bus driver how much I appreciate our wonderful bus service. I am so grateful for the effort all the people who are still working put in to make us safe and happy! I try to separate my reality from the media reality (I know that statement  needs a lot more explanation -  I'm still thinking through what I mean by it!).

Meanwhile, we all withdraw to a greater or lesser degree it seems. Blogs and Facebook posts gone or diminished, longer delays in replying to emails - no bad thing perhaps, numbers of readers fairly constant but comments way down here on the blog - (a big thank you to those who talk to me still!).

I want to think a little about how this is affecting us/me.

I am reading Gina Millers book Rise the subtitle of which is Life Lessons in Speaking Out, Standing Tall & Leading The Way. Isn't that interesting in these times?


When I first started blogging someone said to write about one subject at a time, and one aspect of that subject at a time and on the whole I think I do that, but today I am all over the place, and definitely using too many exclamation marks.  :-)

How are you finding yourself responding to conditions where you are?

for a superb exhibition of Medieval Sculptures. Here are some of my favourites.

St Helena and St Katharina were carved from limewood between 1490 and 1500 in Germany and still have some traces, over 500 years later, of the original paint.

St Helena (left) was the mother of Constantine the Great and travelled widely in the fourth century seeking holy relics and having churches built.  I wonder what travel was like then? She was thought to be in her 80's when she went to Jerusalem and the Holy Land. There is a St Helen's  church in York where Constantine was proclaimed emperor on the death of his father, and she was known in Cyprus too, and I have a special admiration for her. For some unaccountable reason I always get a little thrill when I  come across her.

It felt rather special to meet her this afternoon at the first exhibition I have been to for ages.

Here is St Anne teaching the young Virgin to read. She looks like a very severe teacher. Made about 1400 from oak with original paint and gilding, this comes from southern France. Imagine making the fabric of the headdress from solid oak.

St John the Evangelist is also German and carved from limewood around 1520. It was the beauty of the carving which struck me most in this one.

I wondered who made it all those years ago with such skill and attention,  even to the fingernails, and what their world was like.

 This beautiful exhibition took me out of myself for a couple of hours.

Details here.

..than candles and cosy socks! Its as least as much about family and friends, and could feel a bit hollow without them.  (I currently can't see four of the people closest to me.) Who could ever have imagined that it would be illegal to be with them?

Now we have Friluftsliv (even harder to pronounce than hygge.)

I had a lot of fun with hygge, this one I'm not so sure...but maybe this is the challenge I am looking for?

..a couple more links with you. Thank you so much for sharing yours on yesterday's post! I will enjoy exploring those.

Strengthening our immune systems is the topic of this video (1hr40) and here is Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on coping with The tiredness and boredom of the new normal....

I'm still considering my answer to the interesitng question my artist friend Lynne has asked here,

Though perhaps my answer is this blog, Live Simply Simply Live.

Here comes the rain sweeping down the glen.

I found myself seeking respite from the unremitting negativity of the news (apart from the item that showed life in Wuhan is almost back to normal!) and I checked out blogs by a few people I have read in the past.

Here is Gretchen Rubin on dealing with the uncertainty of holiday plans. Susanna Conway ponders how, as an introvert, she realises how important other people and being out of the house is to her. Cheryl Richardson's post Becoming a Good Creature and the photographs of adorable puppies my friend Lynne keeps sending me, made me aware of how much having someone or something to care for makes us happier. I enjoyed this HARDtalk podcast from the BBC World Service for its bigger picture take on the current situation from historian Peter Frankopan.

Can you recommend any blogs/podcasts/articles/programmes?

Here in uk the clocks have changed, the weather has changed and the rules have changed (are continually changing) and I felt it would be all too easy for me to just shut down, numb myself with warnth, food, drink, chocolate, TV, or whatever, and hibernate for the duration.

So I did some Wim Hof breathing (see his free mini course here) and took a cold shower!

I feel more alive already.

I want to actively live this winnter, not just get through it.  :-)

Do you?

l live in Loch Lomond and The Trossachs National Park which is a rugged landscape with a lot of commercial forest, much of it planted in the 1930's with wood intended for pit props in coal mines. It must be difficult to grow a crop which takes so long to mature that the world has changed by the time it is ready! Many acres became forest park although wood is still harvested,  mostly for pulp.

There are lots of circular walks and trails, and deciduous edges of a wide variety of species.

Here is the recipe for the coffee and walnut cake LIz!

..on a domestic theme.

Inspired by this little book I made Melting Moments (recipe in this post) with added ground almonds and almond essence.

I rolled them in ground almonds and added an almond atop each,

I haven't baked so much for years.

Living in a fairly remote place with a very small population has been a great advantage of late, and I can still get out and about albeit in a more restricted range (see out and about - the shore, here).

The garden is not large but bounded by the forest on one side and the shore on the other there is lots of scope for walks, with lots of variety, and mown paths within the garden mean I can go for walks here too. (I am looking forward to bare foot frosty walks again!)

I've never taken it for granted, and I've never appreciated it more.

Are you able to get out and about, to some degree, where you are?

Viburnum davidii with hakonechloa macra aurea is a handsome combination - apart from cutting back the grass in late winter, needs no maintenance at all. I have it by the front door.

Do you have a favourite plant combination?

..a fresh log on the fire

a slice of coffee and walnut cake

and some interesting reading about two women who could hardly be more different.

As you know I acsolutely adore the smell of quince. I got to wondering why I had such a visceral response to this scent and sat thinking about it this warm morning recently, when the air was full of the delicious perfume.

I picked up a fruit, put it to my nose and inhaled deeply and it came to me - it smells like a new baby!! A freshly washed new baby. If you have ever known the delight of holding a new baby on your shoulder and putting your face  into it's sweet neck....that's the feeling that comes over me when I smell this smell.

How odd.

How lovely.


Are there particular smells which affect you strongly? And do you know why?

..four for later.

I made a particularly good pan of ratatouille, though I say so myself.! Just the right amount of garlic, wine and herbs to make this simple vegetable dish really special.. The freezer is filling up nicely.

..quince!

Extraordinary shorescapes

Worlds within worlds.

Azalea lutea in this morning's sunshine.

Sometimes I find things, but more often than not things find me.

Here are some of the things that found me today about the pandemic and  reactions to it other than those of politicians and economists...

(Because of the random nature of this phenomenon I regret can't always credit them.)


 We must stay calm and centred so that we don't contrubute to the fear and anxiety.



Two separate lines from a poem by South African Anton Taylor:

The sun rises each day and so do the numbers

and

We must choose: I or Us

We choose Us

I think it was Jack Kornfield's wife who said that when you see the empty stadium or theatre what you are seeing is love in action - we are protecting people we will never meet - 'look into the emptiness and marvel at all that love'.

Ask if the pandemic is happening to us or for us.

This could be the time to do that inner work.

We all have forgiveness to do for our hearts to be free.


Dolly Parton has written a song about it one line of which is:

If the virus don't kill us, the stay-at-home will!

Shall we just keep calm and carry on?

Before I went on my recent trip to Cromarty I selected a few cards from my collection, (can't resist a good image), addressed and stamped them and took them with me to write at odd quiet moments. I love writing by hand. It's soothing to me.

I have had the joy of a few handwritten replies too. It puts a smile on my face to see a handwritten envelope on the mat!

...which is sometimes  to say not a lot is happening here,

though I did get inordinately excited about the first cornflower seed which sprouted today!

Tiny symbol of hope for 2021..

..and some good news!  See here

It's taken a while. I first heard of it when I was doing a landscape design course at the university there in 1992 (my first visit to Venice) and we were shown the plans and models for the prototype gate.

It's wonderful news for Venice and everyone who loves La Serenissima! You can read more about it on Erla Zwingle's blog I Am Not Making This Up.

If you would like to celebrate with a glass of something and a little biscuit - here is the recipe for Melting Moments. (Measurements are imperial as it was a recipe from my Mum.)


3oz butter
1oz lard (makes for extra crispness)
3oz sugar
6oz self raising flour
1 egg
few drops vanilla essence
rolled oats or dessicated coconut

Cream fats and suga.r
Add flour then beaten egg.
With damp hands roll into small balls, add glace cherries and bake at 180 for10 - 15 minutes.

Stocking up the freezer for future visitors (on a kind of 'build it and they will come' principle - optimist that I am) I have added these little buttery crispy biscuits. Sometimes I add ground almonds to the recipe, sometimes I roll them in coconut instead of oats. They freeze really well and thaw quickly which can be very useful when you live a long way from the shops.

..with my coffee at the Botanic Gardens

Lunch for four.

Courgette pea and mint soup.

with lime and ginger scones.

All safely tucked into the freezer for when I can have guests again.