Setting a calming scene for the next stint..
..of JGID. (Lost a bit of momentum and one week was a bit optimistic.)
Setting a calming scene for the next stint..
I've borrowed the lovely title from Alys Fowler's article here.
I have left another small corner of the garden unmown and am loving it.
JUST GET IT DONE week.
I'm a great fan of the baby steps approach and treating myself gently, but I am also a procrastinator (first class) and there are things which I ought to do....or I should say ought to have done days, weeks, even years ago! They nag at me, sometimes barely a whisper, sometims very loudly and still I put them off.
I loved my sister's story of cleaning every inch of her vacuum cleaner rather than sit down and write the almost overdue essay. Maybe it runs in the family I am thinking now as I write this blog post rather than make the tricky phone call. A fine excuse!
Time for a more radical approach I thought, when I browsed a book called Hell Week in Waterstones bookstore. I could hear Wim Hof's voice saying Give it all you've got! (I'd love to know if any of you tried his breathing method and found it useful. I do it every morning now and it has been instrumental in giving me the energy to do JGID week.) I also watched the Wimbledon finals and marvelled at the discipline and commitment of the players. Other voices chimed in. Face It Life Is Hard! When The Going Gets Tough The Tough Get Going! You Can Do This! Feel The Fear And Look It In The Eye!
I'm half way through and it is hard. I am pushing myself. I have got a lot done (and feel as if I have spent hours navigating poorly designed websites and listening to 'Your call is very important to us, please hold....') I am determined. It's only a week after all. And the reward will be the freedom from that nagging voice and a day out without it's presence. (Edinburgh I think..)
A variant on my title - J*DI. jUST (insert the first letter of your preferred expletive!) DO IT.
Are you one of those people who just do it without the carrots and sticks that some of us need?
On a gentler note here is a piece about wild flowers in public spaces here in uk (though I think Lady Bird johnson campaigned for such approaches on US highways many decades ago).
..hard to say. But so present in all our lives.
Grief and grieving. Books have been written. I've read a few. Counselling is probably available. I've not done that.
I'm sharing here because this is something which is so present in my life. The pretty side of things I mostly show here is a way of balancing the grief and reminding myself that so much is still good and beautiful in my life. Death affects all of us and I think resilience and coping strategies could be talked about more. (The balance between privacy and public sharing is another kind of a balancing act that I think about a lot!)
For me now most ordinary days are fine. I have a lovely life: family, friends, home and garden, many interests and much to be grateful for. It's the extremes that floor me. The unexpected good news, the beautiful evening, a wonderful piece of music. When I got the good news about my eyes a little while ago I found myself standing in the middle of the garden next day with sudden tears just streaming down my face. When I got the news of a friend's serous illness I just wanted to lean against Barry. No words would be needed.
Things which helped? Reading about a bereaved child child who said 'Tears let the sad out'. The comment (from a reader here - (thank you Damsonlily) that you don't get over loss, but learn to live alongside it, and a neighbour told me that the spaces between the hardest times would get longer - she was right. The kindness of my blog friends has been a marvel.
I got very very curious about how my body could produce so many tears,,,,
It's no-one's favourite subject, and I mention it but rarely, but if you would like to share what you found helpful after a bereavement I, and many others, would be both touched and grateful.
Next post..JGID Week.
Plans changed (I was on Plan C today).
I've got a bill from Vodaphone although I have not been with them for years.
The water was turned off for six hours while I had someone staying.
The president of the most powerful country in the world said there was an airport there in 1775
- the world is madder than ever!
I remind myself that there are swallows and orchids in my life.
It helps me stay sane.
What keeps you sane?
(I am assuming that you are...)
I have tried, and failed, to get a good photograph of the swallows' nest so will link you to this fabulous one.
But perhaps you have your own nest to distract you? I keep thinking they will surely leave today but this morning all six are still in there being fed by what must now be pretty exhausted parents. I think it is too cold. I would stay in a cosy nest with my siblings too....
If I sit on the edge of the bath with the window ajar I am on a level with the swallows' nest and I've been spending more time than I perhaps should watching the SIX baby birds...I think they may leave the nest tomorrow, and I might get some work done!
I also bought a fun scarf.
It's summer after all.
Talking of good parenting, over those few hot days last week I was almost certain that the swallows had abandoned their nest and their four young! After a flurry of activity when the babies first appeared over the rim of the nest above the studio window all went quiet and the adults were hardly to be seen. Last year the baby birds failed to fledge and it looked like the same thing was happening again. I had moved the table and chairs to another part of the garden in case my presence there was disturbing them.
I was so relieved and delighted this morning to see all four - looking suddenly much bigger and very healthy being fed, and sitting on the edge of the nest stretching their wings. It made my day and I didn't mind that the weather is misty and cloudy if it meant that there were now plenty of midgies for the swallows!
There are wrens nesting in the clematis above the study window, and I think I see a few young robins hopping about.
It feels like a privilege to have wild creatures so close.
..of Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules For Life is
Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.
The reason being that other people will also dislike them and their life will be harder because of it.
The vital process of socialization prevents much harm and fosters much good.
Poorly socialized children have terrible lives.
As a clinical psychologist Peterson has seen the sometimes heartbreaking effects of poor parenting and says that children are damaged when those charged with their care , afraid of any conflict or upset, no longer dare to correct them and leave them without guidance.....such children are chronically ignored by their peers.
From Rousseau to Skinner, Jane Goodall, Disney's Sleeping Beauty and Lord of the Flies, Peterson covers a lot of ground and stresses just how difficult and challenging a task parenting is. I like the final paragraph of this chapter where he describes a well socialized and thriving child. There are no greater gifts that a committed and courageous parent can bestow.
As ever, thought provoking!
A 'Country Living' moment today. Too warm at 25 degrees to do anything much but drink more wine and eat more ice cream than I am used to. But, it's due to change tomorrow and dare I say it, I'm quite glad!
I'm not great in the heat - even our modest temperatures - and although it is pleasant to do very little for a day or two, there are things I want to do.
I know some of you are experiencing temperatures much higher - any tips on how to cope?