Simply..adjusting....

21/10/2016

...to change.

We all have to do it. Sometimes to changes we choose, sometimes to changes we have absolutely no choice about.

As well as his love and support, one of Barry's best gifts to me was the gift of time to paint. He quietly took on most of the work around here - the gardening, some of the shopping, all of the cooking, the driving around with paintings to galleries...and more. Since he died in February the harsh reality is that I have less than half the money and more than twice (or thrice!) the work, and it is taking a lot of adapting, accepting, accomodating, and adjusting to ...

It is hard.

But not impossible.

I am inspired when I look around me and see many people manage change with courage and determination.

Perhaps you are one of them...

I am checking my paints. Definitely time for a new tube of French Ultramarine

21 Comments

Julia

22/10/2016 03:37:28 am

Dear Friend.....what a heart-felt and tender post you have just shared with us...you have a gift for saying so much in so few words...but with the greatest impact.
Change, indeed....i let out a great sigh here....in each relationship, there will be one of us left behind....and how to navigate those waters?
Your sharing from your own heart, in itself takes great courage...again i have that wish that i could arrive on your doorstep with a cake, and a helping hand with the garden...the chores..Maybe a brisk walk in the crisp fall air. (Sharing privately here....my style of coping wth unwanted change is one of loud rebellion!...no!...i refuse!)

Freda

22/10/2016 02:30:35 pm

Thank you Julia. The friendships I feel I have made here have helped enormously -such kindness! We all have to find our own ways of coping don't we.

Mary

22/10/2016 05:01:16 am

Julia captures my own feelings so well. Know that your courage is an inspiration, too. Be well.

Freda

22/10/2016 02:31:45 pm

Thank you Mary for all the comments as well as this one.

elaine link

22/10/2016 07:04:29 am

Dear Freda
Sometimes change is not always good is it. When things we take for granted are taken away from us you begin to realise how different and hard life can be. Life throws these curved balls at us and all we can do is our best. I think you are coping very well and don't seem to be letting life get you down too much. Of course we are on the outside looking in so don't really know how you are feeling, but as long as you keep strong I am sure you will work it all out in the end. Sorry these sound like platitudes but I hope you know what I am trying to say in all sincerity.

Freda

22/10/2016 02:34:04 pm

Not platitudes Elaine I know and I'm touched by your kind thoughts. There are good days and not very good days and as you say all we can do it our best..

cath

22/10/2016 09:25:46 am

Changes. Nothing simple about the changes we didn't expect or ask for. And yet we adapt. We accept and at times we don't, but have to anyway.
At times it is hard. Oftentimes it is really hard. At least that is my experience.
And every now and then a day has a flow, it flows by itself, without effort, if you know what I mean. So no, it is not impossible, change and adjusting to it, and I hold on to that thought.

Freda

22/10/2016 02:36:11 pm

We have to accept as you say - there is no choice, other than a choice in how we react and noticing those flow days is an important part of it for me too.

rusty duck link

22/10/2016 01:59:45 pm

As ever I'm left in awe of your strength and determination. I don't know many people, me included, who would cope as well as you do.
Put that middle tube on the shopping list too, it looks like it could also be a favourite.
Take care x

Freda

22/10/2016 02:40:24 pm

Writing the blog has been such a help - it forces me to find one good or interesting thing every day to write about! And made me realise that there still are many good and interesting things in my world to share.. That Permanent Blue will go on the list - it is gorgeous x

Linda

22/10/2016 02:16:32 pm

They say that it's not what happens to you in life, but how you react to it that's important. You are an inspiration.

Freda

22/10/2016 02:45:55 pm

It's true that that is where we do have some choice (though it doesn't always feel like it). Thank you Linda.

Damsonlily

22/10/2016 03:13:19 pm

Change is such a constant in our lives and yet we often find it so hard to navigate. We think life will continue as it ever has and the shock can be almost too hard to bear when it does not.
We have come home from a wonderful holiday in the USA, spending time with our relatives there, to cope with the fact that our house has been burgled. We are sad and maybe a bit angry and irritated at having to account for things and clear up the resulting mess but there is no doubt we shall cope with this change and loss.
Some changes are much harder to accept. Losing a partner is one of the greatest changes we can have and cannot be accepted in a few days, months or even years. Some things we just learn to live alongside. Our human resilience allows us to gain ground, in small steps, one day at a time. There will be brighter days and we know that, even if today is not one of them. I hope tomorrow looks much brighter for you.

Julia

22/10/2016 04:01:19 pm

And sincere sympathies to you also! Being burgled is such a violation! And so, so wrong....hard to understand who coud do this! Change and loss in deed...my grandmother would say: first make a pot of tea...and then figure out what to do next.

Damsonlily

23/10/2016 01:01:40 pm

Thank you Julia and good advice indeed. Tea was certainly one of the first things on our agenda.

Freda

23/10/2016 04:19:18 pm

They talk about 'the next right step'. A useful idea, as is the tea...

Freda

23/10/2016 04:17:59 pm

I am so sorry that your house has been burgled.What a shock that must be. It helps to know that others have coped and recovered from shock and loss - it is amazing really how resilient we are. And how much help a cup of tea can be! i like the concept of 'gaining ground. Thank you for your kind comment.

Sarah link

24/10/2016 07:43:25 am

Dear Freda, As mentioned by everyone above you inspire us with your courage and determination. Sarah x

Freda

27/10/2016 11:52:08 pm

Thank you Sarah.x

Elizabeth Sandie

27/10/2016 04:02:45 am

Dear Freda, I am impressed at the amount of adjustment you have already made after such a sudden and hard change in your everyday life and delighted to see you have been looking at your paints again after a long break. I hope you feel you an return to painting and that you find some solace in it

Freda

27/10/2016 11:53:43 pm

Thank you Elizabeth. I know Barry would want me to keep painting and keep living.

Simply..adjusting....

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