I found myself hesitating (momentarily) to publish the post about my exhibition visit yesterday. Not wanting to put myself out there, open to criticism and judgement. Feeling the need to explain myself and justify my trip. Fearing disapproval.
I went into town on the bus (I have no other means of transport). The buses are super-clean but freezing as all the windows are kept open! There is hand sanitiser, everyone wore a mask and socially distanced. Part way there the heavens opened and the windoscreen wipers were going full pelt and I thought 'I have a lovely cosy fire at home, why am I doing this?
However the rain eased and I got to the Burgh Hall cafe and a warm welcome, a bowl of spiced pumpkin soup and very pretty fresh flower table decorations (and name and contact number taken, hand sanitizing etc etc etc). The background buzz of conversation was delightful, the soup was delicious, and I began to relax.
The small exhibition was beautifully presented, with good information and I became thoroughly absorbed in it. That was why I was doing this!
I thanked the staff in the cafe and told them how much I loved the flowers, I sent an eamil to the organisers of the exhibition congratulating them, I told the bus driver how much I appreciate our wonderful bus service. I am so grateful for the effort all the people who are still working put in to make us safe and happy! I try to separate my reality from the media reality (I know that statement needs a lot more explanation - I'm still thinking through what I mean by it!).
Meanwhile, we all withdraw to a greater or lesser degree it seems. Blogs and Facebook posts gone or diminished, longer delays in replying to emails - no bad thing perhaps, numbers of readers fairly constant but comments way down here on the blog - (a big thank you to those who talk to me still!).
I want to think a little about how this is affecting us/me.
I am reading Gina Millers book Rise the subtitle of which is Life Lessons in Speaking Out, Standing Tall & Leading The Way. Isn't that interesting in these times?
When I first started blogging someone said to write about one subject at a time, and one aspect of that subject at a time and on the whole I think I do that, but today I am all over the place, and definitely using too many exclamation marks. :-)
How are you finding yourself responding to conditions where you are?