Simply..bridges, and styles of coping....

26/3/2020

Venice has 409 bridges!

This is the one I see when I open the shutters of the bedroom window in the morning.

If you are staying at home with someone for an extended period of time it's probably a good idea to talk about how you might cope! This was how we discovered that Heather crosses bridges when she comes to them, and I (ever the grasshopper) jump over every bridge in sight and back again.

Some bridges, and some people, are just puzzling.

I'd say do talk about it. Explain how you feel. Ask for what you need. Negotiate a little. Give and take. Give each other space (though how some households can manage that is hard to imagine!) Respect the differences between you. There's probably no right or wrong way. But ways must be found to reduce the stress, and to make sure you are still speaking to each other at the end of this.

It's hard.

Be kind.

What would your advice be? Do you have any tips to share?

Here are some ideas from Katrina of The Body Toolkit.

Only two of Venice's bridges have no parapet. Scary, but you can still get to the other side.

So will we!

10 Comments

Susan Dorset

26/3/2020 12:16:09 am

I was introduced to 'Tuckman's stages of group development'
It may be of help. I notice that these stages occur in even the smallest of interactions.
And ... beneath any irritation, crossness, frustration, annoyances, there looks to be a deep love between you and Heather.

Freda

26/3/2020 12:23:44 am

We get on so well Susan and in the circumstances that is such a blessing! She is a joy.
Thanks for the reference - I will check that out.

julia

26/3/2020 04:06:42 am

It sounds like you and Katrina have it covered, Freda. I would add that a brisk walk together is helpful to us. We are able to each find our own space, in our home. And we find it helpful to each connect by phone, skype of facetime daily with our individual friends. We cannot do everything together! Are things improving at all for you in Venice?

Freda

27/3/2020 12:08:42 am

Only in as much as we do feel everything that can be done is being done, though that means ever tighter restrictionss. It is taken very seriously here.

Mary

26/3/2020 08:14:52 am

Bridges to healthy living, eh? I know you and Heather are very compatible traveling companions so that is good. As is being in an apartment and not a hotel room under the circumstances.

While I've only gone out perhaps twice in the past three-four weeks-- and not at all in the past ten days--DH, up until Monday was still working and dealing with the public. However, his company has now closed and he has been furloughed so we will need to do some negotiations for a 24/7 peaceful coexistence.

Since I retired two years ago, I (happily) spend more than 95% of my time in silence. No TV (for years), no radio. Only listening to occasional music/podcast/audio-book. DH is much more extroverted and used to a livelier environment. He still watches TV--thankfully in his black-hole-of-Calcutta downstairs where I can't hear it--and is used to being on the go. Like so many, social isolation won't be easy for him. But, as long as we stay healthy, we will be fine.

Freda

27/3/2020 12:13:05 am

Although clearly different compatibility is still possible, as you explain. Good luck to everyone trying for that!

Elizabeth Sandie

26/3/2020 10:01:14 pm

Lovely colours and textures as always Freda. It looks as if you are still allowed out. Here we are supposed to take just one walk a day, but who's looking, though i gather police vans are now sitting in the almost deserted city centre. I did find one fruit and veg stall there earlier in the week. I was very gutted when they shut Museum gardens on Monday but lucky I can still do the riverwalk. Also lucky I have plenty of space to myself. Would be getting on with myself better if i hadn't been struggling to do a piece of writing that I should never have undertaken for an editor who I now realise knows nothing of the subject. Longing to be free of it and the computer screen! Feast my eyes for while on the shine on your canal! Thank You!

Freda

27/3/2020 12:18:04 am

We are allowed food shopping and are expected to minimise it as best we can. One person per household, and the nearest shop. They take it very seriously here and we have hopes it is being effective, for everyones' sake.

Good luck with the writing!

Elizabeth

28/3/2020 11:12:18 pm

Yes most take it seriously here too, so I combine my exercise with getting the shopping. Even my son doesn't come to visit but the is loads of space long th riverside and still keep a good distance apart. The walls of course are closed sorry your flight was cancelled but love your calm contemplative post. I had a room with shutters the winter I stayed in Ullapool. Loved the way th light came in. Hope the

Freda

30/3/2020 10:41:08 am

Oops, I’ve just come back to this Elizabeth. We’re rather at the mercy of those who won’t go by the rules, but it seems the message is getting through more now.
So hard on the most vulnerable. Be well! x

Simply..bridges, and styles of coping....

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