Simply..choreography?

1/4/2016

Among the books and websites I've been looking at on the subject of grief, I came across this phrase which resonated with me more than anything else I read.

You have to choreograph your own grief.

(I hope I am correct in attributing it to Christina Rasmussen in her book Second Firsts.)

Choreographing I thought, means being creative, being in charge and making decisions, practicing new things - things original and/or unique, and even dancing a little? Just the possibility is nice to think about.

It's tough just now and posts may continue to be erratic while I learn some new steps....

12 Comments

rusty duck link

1/4/2016 03:07:12 pm

It should also mean taking things at your own pace. Doing the things you want to do and when you feel up to it. Take care Freda x

Lotta link

1/4/2016 08:23:53 pm

Choreography - it sounds like you Freda. You've choreographed art, gardens, your home, this blog... why not grief? An opportunity to be a little bit playful with something so intense and overwhelming. And who knows, perhaps something special will emerge from this heartbreaking time - how could it not, from that much love? And don't forget, even the very best choreographers have days off too... xx

julia

2/4/2016 02:46:07 am

Freda, your posts are always thought-provoking. i wondered to myself..just what does choreography mean to me? for me, it means asking myself, and then envisioning how this "dance performance" (in this case we can call it life.) is going to look?...how will it begin? envisioning into the future about where we are taking the dancer..who else will be in the performance? what music, art, staging will enhance the beauty of the performance? how will it end? and of course, none of us know the ending!..all we can do is try to "choreograph the steps" and enhance the presentation....i believe that is what you have been doing with all your posts! it seems like a perfect quote for how you have been living.

julia

2/4/2016 03:30:30 am

and i meant to add: a perfect quote for how you might approach your grieving and the next "act"......

cathy

2/4/2016 06:21:30 am

the first thought that popped into my mind when I read 'choreographing your grief' was the cha-cha. that dance is several steps forward...or backwards or sideways. Don't you think grief is like that? some days you think you're making progress, the next day...you've gone 3 steps back. other days you'll only able to hold onto where you are right then. everyone has to dance their own dance.

cath

2/4/2016 08:42:00 am

You are the dancer ànd the dance. In motion on an unfolding choreography. Center stage or at the barre. One step at the time as it can't be hurried. Thinking of you.

Mary

2/4/2016 09:38:00 am

In Latin, chorēa, means to dance. When one considers all the many types of dances there may be from slow to fast--some done with precision, others just evolving with free movements--then yes, I can see how one might choreograph one's grief. A single dance won't be enough. Too many emotions. Too expectations (our own and others). Be gentle on yourself. One step at a time.

And regardless of how often you post, know we, your readers, will still be lifting you up in our thoughts and prayers. x

Penny L

2/4/2016 02:51:13 pm

Gosh, everyone has written so eloquently. I think"choreographing" grief is a very good analogy. The oh so difficult part is not knowing where the music of life will take you , isn't it? I echo Mary's words, we are all thinking of you and sending you love. Penny Lxx

Karen

2/4/2016 03:25:52 pm

...such a tender way of exploring the interplay of emotions...a dance filled with grace....

Gail

3/4/2016 03:42:47 am

I agree w Mary- please be gentle with yourself. Know that I (& others) pray for you every week

Freda

3/4/2016 03:48:45 am

Thank you all so much for your thoughtfulness. I do agree with Penny about how eloquent you all are!
Tender is a beautiful word - one of the things I loved most about Barry was that he knew how to be tender.

swissrose link

4/4/2016 12:22:21 pm

I think of choreography as interpretation, which leaves a lot of creative space...

Simply..choreography?

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