Having at one point been counting the days to easing of lockdown I find myself not in the least eager to go anywhere!
I have spent all my time in the garden and had all my meals there. It feels normal. I can forget the outside world. The garden is the same as it always was - it hasn't changed with coronavirus. I can relax in it. It feels natural. I feel grounded and centred.
Whereas if I go and do any of the very limited things I am now allowed to do here in rural Scotland, there will be awkwardness and it will feel most unnatural - how can I tell a much loved 10 year old not to come near me! How can I see family and friends and not give them a warm hug. There will be disinfectant, markings, masks, notices and warnings, anxiety and unease.
Our hearts are hurting, are they not?
This doesn't mean I don't accept the reality or I won't handle it. We do. We adapt and we cope. I am full of admiration for the way people are coping with harsher realities than mine and truly terrible situations.
I know I am one of the very lucky ones and I may just stay in my garden sanctuary for another few days...no rush.
How are you feeling about things where you are?
I woke at four o'clock this morning!