Simply..going nowhere....

30/5/2020

Having at one point been counting the days to easing of lockdown I find myself not in the least eager to go anywhere!

I have spent all my time in the garden and had all my meals there. It feels normal. I can forget the outside world. The garden is the same as it always was - it hasn't changed with coronavirus. I can relax in it. It feels natural. I feel grounded and centred.

Whereas if I go and do any of the very limited things I am now allowed to do here in rural Scotland, there will be awkwardness and it will feel most unnatural - how can I tell a much loved 10 year old not to come near me! How can I see family and friends and not give them a warm hug. There will be disinfectant, markings, masks, notices and warnings, anxiety and unease.

Our hearts are hurting, are they not?

This doesn't mean I don't accept the reality or I won't handle it. We do. We adapt and we cope. I am full of admiration for the way people are coping with harsher realities than mine and truly terrible situations.
I know I am one of the very lucky ones and I may just stay in my garden sanctuary for another few days...no rush.

How are you feeling about things where you are?

I woke at four o'clock this morning!

11 Comments

Sheena

31/5/2020 03:38:48 am

The garden, and the joy in gardening, is something I am so grateful for in the last ten weeks and I find myself fairly content to spend my time at home apart from my local walks. Like yourself Freda, I find going out to shops is an awkward and stressful experience and inevitably I come home without something I needed because so much concentration is required to observe all our new regulations.
Beautiful sunrise but 4 am is perhaps a bit earlier to be awake than you maybe want. Afternoon in the hammock?

Freda

31/5/2020 01:39:17 pm

Aren't we lucky to have our gardens sheena?
It was too early - but worth it - and yes I did have an afternoon nap in the hammock. This weather is amazing!

Mary

31/5/2020 06:22:12 am

Thank you for that golden early morning sunrise. Love, love, love that view.

It is only recently that I have left my house for small periods of time: dentist visit (one patient at a time, masked, temp check, questions about health--hygienist in as much PPE as any doctor--including a face shield over a mask); picked up dog pills and garden supplies (never left my car, masked/gloved--as were attendants); and--this past weekend--first family gathering for 6yr old GS's birthday--only 10 of us, four of them young children who were ecstatically happy to be running around outside with each other. Yes, v.v. hard not to hug in greeting or departure--to stay social distanced, but good to see them in person and not on a screen.

DH has to go out to work and does the grocery shopping (when not delivered). Sewed around 50 masks for family and friends thanks to a stash of fabric and sewing supplies. Planted a large container garden on my deck. I do have a hair appointment this week. Three months since last one--but, fortunately my stylist sees clients in a large separate area/entrance of her home; only one client at a time. Other than that, I have no plans to go anywhere else, anytime soon. While I am anything but content with the disastrous leadership and state of my nation, I am at least content within myself.

Freda

31/5/2020 01:44:31 pm

What a changed world Mary! I love your description of the children loving seeing each other - it is hard for them too. Enjoy your haircut and your garden and regardless of the state of your nation, and ours, it is wonderful to be content within yourself. Stay safe and thank you for sharing.

Judith

31/5/2020 08:26:24 am

Stunning photograph

Freda

31/5/2020 01:46:01 pm

I was thrilled it tuned out well Judith, and was too excited to get back to sleep!

cath

31/5/2020 11:10:57 am

Yes, our hearts are hurting. There's so much pain in the world.

I find myself very reluctant to go out. Postponed my dentist appointment, with another month. My last haircut was in January, I could do with one but it can wait. At the root of the reluctance is
a lost sense of safety. As if going out requires a kind of 'innocence'
I no longer have. And so I wait some more and hope to rebuild my
trust bit by bit.

Freda

31/5/2020 01:51:33 pm

It is such an enornous change in our way of life. Hard to grasp and to understand the implicationss...

Gillie

31/5/2020 12:55:51 pm

What a stunning photo. I’m about to go back to England to resume my dental practice having isolated with my Irish partner in deepest Irish countryside. I’m not looking forward to it ..., keep on loving your Scottish idyll. I wish I didn’t have to go. 😢

Freda

31/5/2020 01:56:05 pm

I feel for you Gillie. That must be hard. Stay safe! I am sure everyone who reads here will be wishing you well. Deepest Ireland and deepest Scotland are good places to be right now. x

Mary

1/6/2020 05:30:11 am

Echoing Freda's hope that your return to UK goes well--though imagine it is tearing you up to leave your partner and the Irish countryside. Having been to my dentist in the US just recently, I have a very small idea of the challenges you face with all the new protocols. Stay safe and well.

Simply..going nowhere....

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