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Simply..helpful....

21/6/2017

8 Comments

 

Some of the ideas in Christina Rasmussen's book Second Firsts about life after loss have been helpful to me. Under what she calls Life Re-entry she suggests you try to 'plug in' to the wider world 'even if only five per cent'.

I think perhaps last year I was doing that intuitively. Supported by wonderful family and friends (including the friends I have made here on this blog) I joined in many lovely events, shared holidays and get-togethers.

A phrase used by 'Widower of the Parish' in his Guardian newspaper column about living 'the same life but sadder' stayed with me though, so recently my efforts at plugging in have taken a different twist...

Perhaps you have also suffered a loss, are in a bit of a rut, or are just feeling in need of a boost?  I can recommend trying making a few small changes from the categories in Rasmussen's list -

Hair. I changed my hairstyle, just a bit.
Clothes. I started wearing the clothes less worn instead of choosing the same things from the wardrobe all the time, and bought a new dress and wore it!
Travel. I am making some tentative plans..
Hobbies. I am trying to take a real interest in cooking.
People. I am reaching out more.
Books. I am asking friends for recommendations.


Tomorrow - other authors and websites I've found helpful including Leo Babauta, Atul Gawande, Sheryl Sandberg and Patsy Rosenberg.


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8 Comments
Gail
22/6/2017 02:53:48 am

I just purchased kindle book based on your post. At this moment, I need to learn some 2nd firsts not only bc of life after death of loved one but also bc "grief" of dealing with loss of health (I'm ok just limited). You understand all to well. Am I doing as well as I WANT inside this new world?

Reply
Freda
22/6/2017 02:40:37 pm

I hope you find it helpful too Gail.

Reply
Julia
22/6/2017 02:57:47 am

Ok...i am taking a risk here by telling you all...but one thing that has helped me when i have been in a BIG RUT was to take what seemed like a BIG risk!...at aged 60 i had a very nice gem put in my nose...my book club friends thought i was crazy! (But i secretly think they wish they had the nerve to do it too.) then a couple of years ago i put sapphire blue temporary dye in my hair...i loved it!i did these for me..not to draw attention..i just wanted to see what it felt like to be more daring than i had been...no zip lines for me though! And i won't be jumping out of plane in this lilfetime either. Change helps..you have to redefine who you are now, Freda and you are doing a terrific job of that.

Reply
Freda
22/6/2017 02:42:42 pm

Thanks for sharing Julia! I am too squeamish to even have my ears pierced...

Reply
cath
22/6/2017 07:17:38 am

Thank you Freda for sharing your bookish helpers, did you find Christina Rasmussen's email letters helpful as well?

' Am I doing as well as I WANT inside this new world' Gail asks herself. A question that is very relevant for me as well. Thank you Gail.

I know Leo Babauta, the other names you mention are new to me, I am looking forward to learn more tomorrow.

Reply
Freda
22/6/2017 02:44:11 pm

Yes I do find the emails useful - the timing always seems to be just right! Gail's question is a good one isn't it?

Reply
Liz Wood
22/6/2017 02:20:48 pm

This sounds a great list of new stuff. I always go back to Nigella's advice 'life is so much better if you can take pleasure in small things',, and I think if we begin with focus on the small things we can control then bigger things will fall into place...

Reply
Freda
22/6/2017 02:45:33 pm

Hi Liz. I do agree with that advice!

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