If these posts on death have been cathartic for you, then that is the best possible outcome. And it is good for the rest of us to think on the subject, too. Probably the one comment that is often heard (sometimes only weeks or months after a death) that really sets my teeth on edge is "aren't they past that yet?" Truly, it makes me want to scream. I realize what they are really saying/thinking is "I am uncomfortable with your/their grief because it makes me think about death and I don't want to think about death. So you should get over it so I am not made to feel uncomfortable." At which point, I still want to scream. Because it isn't about them. Sadly, it is about their lack of compassion and understanding. As the video says, you don't get over it. Grief is with you always. It forms part of who you become as you move forward and it is just as individual as we are.
My father died 34 years ago. At his wonderful service, two university students played his favorite hymn "Ave Maria" so beautifully on violins. To this day, I only have to hear the opening notes of that music to feel myself transported back to that day. No matter where I am--car, store, church, living room--a tear will form in my eye. And I will remember.
One of the reasons I can write here without the concerns you speak of is that I know people can just ignore it if they don't want to think about it without fear of offending me! There isn't that awkwardness you describe so well Mary.
What a very precious memory of your father's funeral.
I know you probably have a huge list of non-internet things/people that have been helpful too, but I'm wondering if you feel the process of grief so far would have been harder without access to the web, or just different Freda?
It's hard to know (see my reply to Mary also) but I have found lots of resources - available any time of day or night, and the kindness and understanding of readers here has been invaluable Lotta.
What a beautiful video about grief. Thank you, Freda.
It was a nice find Susan.
Simply Bin It
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Simply Seeing.. Or Not
An artist seeking a simpler life - (but not too simple!)All words and images copyright Freda Waldapfel 2010 - 2019
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