Simply..helpful....

18/3/2018

..to me.

This video

Sometimes posts on this blog

This poem

Writing these posts about difficult and emotional subjects. (It has been healing.)

Margareta Magnusson and the comments from the wonderful people who read this blog.

My heartfelt thanks to you.

Change of subject tomorrow. Promise!

6 Comments

Mary

19/3/2018 03:43:33 am

If these posts on death have been cathartic for you, then that is the best possible outcome. And it is good for the rest of us to think on the subject, too. Probably the one comment that is often heard (sometimes only weeks or months after a death) that really sets my teeth on edge is "aren't they past that yet?" Truly, it makes me want to scream. I realize what they are really saying/thinking is "I am uncomfortable with your/their grief because it makes me think about death and I don't want to think about death. So you should get over it so I am not made to feel uncomfortable." At which point, I still want to scream. Because it isn't about them. Sadly, it is about their lack of compassion and understanding. As the video says, you don't get over it. Grief is with you always. It forms part of who you become as you move forward and it is just as individual as we are.

My father died 34 years ago. At his wonderful service, two university students played his favorite hymn "Ave Maria" so beautifully on violins. To this day, I only have to hear the opening notes of that music to feel myself transported back to that day. No matter where I am--car, store, church, living room--a tear will form in my eye. And I will remember.

Freda

19/3/2018 02:54:52 pm

One of the reasons I can write here without the concerns you speak of is that I know people can just ignore it if they don't want to think about it without fear of offending me! There isn't that awkwardness you describe so well Mary.
What a very precious memory of your father's funeral.

Lotta

19/3/2018 12:15:46 pm

I know you probably have a huge list of non-internet things/people that have been helpful too, but I'm wondering if you feel the process of grief so far would have been harder without access to the web, or just different Freda?

Freda

19/3/2018 02:58:20 pm

It's hard to know (see my reply to Mary also) but I have found lots of resources - available any time of day or night, and the kindness and understanding of readers here has been invaluable Lotta.

Susan

24/3/2018 12:17:06 am

What a beautiful video about grief. Thank you, Freda.

Freda

25/3/2018 11:18:17 pm

It was a nice find Susan.

Simply..helpful....

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