Simply..inspired....

22/4/2016

..by the many women I know and read about who live fulfilling and interesting lives and live alone.

I have decided to live not so much by myself, or for myself, but as myself....

'That is very profound.' said Frances.

I thought so too when I came up with it!

Excuse me while I take a few days to figure out exactly what I mean....

Have a good weekend.

30 Comments

Linda

22/4/2016 02:44:07 pm

Living "as myself" - that's an example to us all.

Freda

25/4/2016 02:28:31 pm

Something to aim for...

cathy

22/4/2016 05:34:18 pm

'as myself'...hmmm. I'm going to think about this along with you.

Freda

25/4/2016 02:29:10 pm

An interesting thought isn't it Cathy!

Madeleine

22/4/2016 10:04:53 pm

Hi Freda,

I would love it if you could share some of these inspiring women with us! I live by myself 50% of the time - the other 50% I live with my children. Although I love time to myself and time to pursue my art (the piano), at times the silence can seem deafening.

For me the 'as myself' part has perhaps been in deciding to seriously dedicate myself to yoga again, and connecting with women friends on a similar life path. What I love has become more of a priority than earning a living, for instance. Of course I still work, but not so much that the important things get pushed out.

For me partner, children and a big health challenge meant 'myself' got pretty buried for a while. Now that I'm 'back' I'm finding it exhilarating!

Madeleine.x

Freda

25/4/2016 02:31:23 pm

How wonderful that you find it exhilarating to be yourself Madeleine. Plan to write more on this theme. Thank you for sharing.

Penny L

23/4/2016 12:58:19 am

I agree with Cathy, 'as myself' is definately something to ponder!

Freda

25/4/2016 02:32:20 pm

I do love to ponder upon things! (Nice word, ponder.)

cath

23/4/2016 05:58:23 am

Profound... yes.

'Living as myself' is - for me - an ongoing process of letting go what I accumulated over a lifetime yet wasn't really me: ideas, opinions, oughts and shoulds. As well as learning and nourishing what essentially is me and mine. Learning also how to grow into being a true elder.

Having a chronic illness both helps and hinders that process.
It hinders on days of overwhelm, then 'just' to sail through the day has priority. I suspect it will be the same for you while your circumstances differ.

At the same time chronic illness has offered me the challenge of finding a new sense of self, a self with illness as an integral part but not defined by it. I experience living that process of discovery very rewarding and meaningful.

Wishing you a good and reflective weekend.

Freda

25/4/2016 02:35:09 pm

Thank you Cath, and for sharing your interesting experience. More 'letting go' ahead I think.

Cristiana

23/4/2016 08:35:43 am

What an interesting thing to think about. I've read it last nigh and have been thinking about this, without much success in defining what it means to me... Hope your reflections are being more sucesseful than mine. I suspect this question will stay in my mind for a while. In the meanwhile, it's a three-day weekend in Portugal, and the sun is supposed to make a much desired appearance here. Wishing you a good, sunny, weekend.

Freda

25/4/2016 02:37:07 pm

I did have a sunny, nice weekend Cristiana with a big birthday which I did not feel much like celebrating, but which turned out to be lovely in a very quiet way. I hope the sun shone in Portugal!

Cristiana

26/4/2016 04:19:28 am

Yes, birthdays and special dates can be hard to experience, I'm glad it turned out to be lovely, Freda. xx

Lucille

23/4/2016 11:05:29 am

I hardly know who that would be at present. So much of life has been reactive. Reactive to other people's needs, problems, expectations, wishes. If most of those are stripped away I do wonder who it leaves exposed. And would I like the company of that person?
How interesting as always, it is to come here.

Freda

25/4/2016 02:41:30 pm

Who were we before all that reactive to others behavior took over? It is an interesting avenue to explore....

Mary

23/4/2016 11:30:11 am

As myself. A thought provoker, indeed.

We spend so much of our lives meeting the expectations of others--parents, siblings, teachers, classmates, friends, co-workers--and if we marry and have children--spouse, in-laws, children, their spouses--the circle of expectations widens like the ripples of a pebble in pond of still water. And, then we may come to that place in our lives when the circle draws in and the only expectations we have to meet are our own. 'As myself.'

As a lifetime of expectations drops away, it will take time to discover who that is. Safe travel on journey, Freda.

Freda

25/4/2016 02:43:20 pm

I am looking forward to the journey Mary. You put it so well!

cathy

23/4/2016 01:27:31 pm

Me again. I have been thinking about 'as myself' all weekend. As I read the book Eat, Love Pray Made Me Do This, essays about how this book affected lives, I've come to realized that like Mary said, we sometimes lose our real selves to what others expect of us. Whether it's out of 'duty' to parents who paid for an education, to a spouse who feels his career-climb is more important, or to a society who feels we should act/be a certain way. I hope to influence my granddaughter to be 'herself'...sometimes that road is hard, but it will be a true road.

Freda

25/4/2016 02:44:28 pm

And an interesting trip!

Lotta

23/4/2016 02:02:46 pm

Love it! For me it seems that 'by yourself' and 'for yourself' are too insular, too small, too narrow, too isolating. But 'as yourself' is free, full, expansive and fulfilling... and exciting! I'm excited for you Freda!

I've lived alone for nearly all of my adult life and it's such a gift for learning to live truly as yourself. I'm not saying I'm good at it by any means, I'm still learning and it's a constantly evolving process, but it's turning out to be an interesting and wonderfully rewarding journey. (And just occasionally it sucks!) But really 'as yourself' is GOOD! :-)

Freda

25/4/2016 02:45:50 pm

I feel a little kernel of excitement about this journey...Thank you for sharing yours here.

Gail

24/4/2016 02:06:26 am

Simple yet complex I agree with Frances & so many of the commenters

Freda

25/4/2016 02:47:13 pm

Such interesting comments from you all on this topic. Thank you!

Julia

24/4/2016 02:28:10 am

I'm with Mary on this subject. There is nothing that has helped me more to "listen" to my own heart, and to try to discern my purpose, and path, than my yoga practice. Not saying i have always followed the advice of my own heart...but it was easier to notice when I was not! Hahaha

Julia

24/4/2016 03:09:13 am

Oops! I meant madeleine, not mary....:-)

Freda

25/4/2016 02:48:45 pm

I should take up yoga again perhaps? It's been a long time....

Swissrose link

24/4/2016 07:40:12 am

Stunning. I love the comments - something I've been thinking about lately. So many constraints on who we are and would like to be, so many roles and responsibilities. So many people we love. Will there be a time just for me? Thanks everyone here!

Freda

25/4/2016 02:50:01 pm

This theme has clearly struck a chord with many of us Swiss Rose. Thanks for joining in.

Sarah West link

25/4/2016 12:33:45 pm

Your always pose so many thoughtful questions. Sarah x

Freda

25/4/2016 02:50:59 pm

I do love a good question! And trying to work out some answers..

Simply..inspired....

Leave a Reply.

Categories

Author

Archives