Simply..notes, notes....

5/9/2018

I have been shredding more notes.

Tonight I sat at my desk reading Colette's Earthly Paradise in the light of the lamp, drinking coffee from a favourite cup and eating a Tesco's Finest Spicy Dark Chocolate Ginger biscuit, and I chanced upon the wonderfully funny piece where, as an old lady she is being interviewed by a very young journalist who, seeking perhaps the secret of her success asks about her notes...

What notes? When I am gone they won't find a single one. Oh, I tried! But everything I made a note of became as sad as a dead frog's skin, as sad as a plan for a novel. Trusting to the advice of writers who did make notes, I made some notes on a sheet of paper then lost the paper. So i bought a notebook, one of the new spiral ones, and I lost the notebook, after which I felt that I was free, forgetful, and prepared to accept the consequences of that forgetfulness.

This is how the inside of the desk drawer now looks. It makes me so happy!

To quote Colette again (I think she is my all time favourite writer)....

..I am so happy I am almost ready to start feeling guilty about it.

17 Comments

Elizabeth Sandie

5/9/2018 11:44:41 pm

So often I sit down with the intention of clearing a pile of notes or notebooks, then I start reading! Disaster! I am sure the time is more than due for ripping and binning. I like the look of that near empty drawer!

Freda

6/9/2018 01:56:40 am

I did read them all - being ill gives you time! Just a few at a time over a couple of days for this pile. So glad they're gone really.

Mary

6/9/2018 12:42:08 am

I waffle between wanting to keep my journals and getting rid of them. The older I get, the more I think I should rid myself of them so as not to leave anything behind that might be hurtful (e.g. times when I used the journal to vent my spleen) if it were read out of context. Definitely leaning towards shredding them. A dead frog's skin, indeed.

Freda

6/9/2018 01:58:29 am

That's a decision I know longer have to make! Feels very good. I would suggest start with the 'venting your spleen' ones. Definitely get rid...

Viv link

6/9/2018 04:57:51 am

If we had a fire or god forebid another flood my journals would be the first thing I would save - it would feel like saving my life and they are my instructions for life so I don't repeat bad times or so I can re-remember little moments that get lost in time. I know I couldn't shred them I even have a problem shredding my little shopping notebooks - but well done to you for taking that step - maybe one day I might join you - but not at the moment.
Your drawer does look good though and the dark chocolate ginger sounds even better!

Freda

6/9/2018 05:46:35 am

It's lovely that you treasure your journals and notebooks Viv! I didn't really although they were very helpful to me at the time of writing them. The biscuits are gorgeous!

Mary B

6/9/2018 05:56:12 am

I have been clearing such paperwork over a period of several weeks (drawers ,boxes and cupboards full ) but am finding it slow ,sad and difficult emotionally ,reading my life and the hopes and dreams of a younger me . Think you've been very brave !

Susan

6/9/2018 07:13:15 am

I resonate with you poignant comment, Mary B. Best wishes.

Freda

6/9/2018 09:13:17 am

I do think it's important to pace myself (and I've been doing this now for a long time).Tears have been shed but It does get easier as you assimilate both the sorrows and the joys. I hope you will also find it easier and not push yourself too hard Mary.

Susan

6/9/2018 07:15:49 am

So glad that you're on the mend, Freda. Take it easy and indulge yourself this coming week.

Freda

6/9/2018 09:14:34 am

If I indulge in any more of those biscuits I'll have another problem to deal with!

cath

6/9/2018 08:00:35 am

There is so much happiness to be found in the small things.

Writing a journal is probably one of the most important practices for me to keep sane in a world out of sync. After having written them they loose their importance and I am still happy I shredded the last ten years of them earlier this year.

Having a drawer like that (and a tiny desk attached to it) is the best present I gave myself in years. I share your joy.

Freda

6/9/2018 09:17:39 am

Brava Cath! It is reassuring to know you don't regret letting them go. And anything that keeps us sane is of the greatest importance. I love my desk too.

Judy

6/9/2018 10:34:47 am

With a few snips to the font, my name could be Tidy instead of Judy. Tidy makes me happy even when it isn't mine. Your drawer has me smiling. This is probably the reason why I have never benefited from note-making. After a week or two, my notes for stories begin to look more like scraps and less like grand ideas, so they are scooped up and tossed.

Freda

6/9/2018 02:26:34 pm

Hi Judy. I will smile even more when I look at my drawer now knowing that it has made someone else smile too! You are in good company (Colette's) in your approach to note taking.

Damsonlily

6/9/2018 01:48:09 pm

Really loved this post and reading all your comments about the type of papers you have written, thrown, wept over and happily abandoned.

I have never been organised enough to write a journal but I have from time to time written a version of Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages. It has always been in difficult times and has helped me to overcome them.

However, when I reread them (after some considerable time has gone past), they do not resonate with me any more. I think they served me well in times of stress and even darkness but more and more, I think of them as words to have leaned on but not to dwell on. They were cathartic at the time but that time has passed.

It is so heartening to hear that so many of you feel the same and has made me determined to tackle these notebooks now, ready for the move into our new house. I shall have a shelf there though, just for new notebooks!

Freda

6/9/2018 02:30:38 pm

My notes are mostly Morning Pages too - so helpful. I love the idea of the new shelf for a new start in the new house. Good luck!

Simply..notes, notes....

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