Simply..self....

26/3/2018

Self help
Self care

It seems to me many of us have a problem with phrases beginning with self. I often guiltily think selfishness (before I correct myself!) and of course selfishness is bad!

What do these words bring up for you?

Selfless
Self development
Self discipline
Self harm
Self confidence
Self esteem
Self neglect
Self reliant
Self motivated
Self regarding
Self awareness
Self obsession

What about Healthy Hedonism, and Healthy Selfishness?

And of course there is the Selfie!

16 Comments

Liz

27/3/2018 01:34:49 am

When I was training to be a teacher we had a wonderful psychology tutor who spoke a lot about the importance of a child’s self concept. Her ideas have always stayed with me, and influenced my own teaching, and how I brought up my daughters. It seems to encompass a lot that is worthwhile, and explains a lot of problems people face.

Freda

27/3/2018 03:52:57 pm

Do you remember the slogan 'You never forget a good teacher'. So true.

Damsonlily

27/3/2018 01:37:21 am

Ah, this is an interesting question, Freda!
I do believe in self help, unlike many others, I know. I think this is tied up with taking responsibility for oneself and one’s actions. So, I would look first to find answers to my own problems, without burdening others. That does not mean I don’t need or look for help from others! Some problems in life are not easily solved in your own or without having others acting as sounding boards.
I also think there may be a fine line between ‘self care’ and ‘selfishness’. Sometimes we do need to take care of our own needs first. If we do not understand this, how can we understand how to help others, or gather the resources and strength to do so?
Very thought provoking, as always!

Freda

27/3/2018 03:55:54 pm

Also to help others we need to be fit and well ourselves. I've read a lot of self help books and have to say I have got something - maybe not much - but something from every one of them. Fascinating.

Linda

27/3/2018 04:29:11 am

I'm having difficulty with this one. I had a great sense of being in the way when I was a child (due to family illnesses - I was orphaned before my teens). It's only now, decades later, that I feel tiny bits of real self breaking through, and it makes me feel guilty when it does. I should add that my lovely husband is endlessly supportive, but esteem, confidence and selfishness - they are still a long way off.

Freda

27/3/2018 03:59:27 pm

Maybe those tiny bits of your real self could be treasured and cherished and explored and loved.... (such a shame to feel guilt). Precious baby steps perhaps? I feel a hundred emotions when I look at that list!

Mary

28/3/2018 04:40:40 am

The hundred emotions you mention? Me, too. Must admit, I started to write a comment to this post several different times and kept deleting them because of the various emotions they brought forth. Surprising.

The US society deifies the idea of self-reliance--a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality. I have taken care of myself and my family so not so much an issue for me. But too many folks, who for one reason or another, don't have the mental, physical or financial resources to be "successful" and are marginalized. And that really ticks me off.

Linda

28/3/2018 06:22:56 am

This is still in my mind - you do pick your topics, Freda! I suppose that outwardly, the world would view me as confident and articulate, and that my siblings and I have all done well, but things never leave you on the inside, do they? I suppose what I can never know is who I would have become with a bit of emotional security behind me.

Freda

28/3/2018 12:28:37 pm

This may not come in sequence Mary - sorry. I do see your point about some people being unable to be self reliant through no fault of their own. I was surprised too at how emotional a question this was for me..

Freda

28/3/2018 12:51:20 pm

i've been thinking about this for ages Linda!

Julia

28/3/2018 05:13:34 am

There is a therapeutic technique called emotional freedom technique..also called tapping or EFT.
One of the premises is that we all have “writing on our walls.” An endless procession of rules that were instilled in us by many “teachers”...and we actually function without thinking, from this writing on our walls..no wonder we all see things so differently! We all have different writing on our walls! It is helpful to finally notice and see how we react or respond to all these words as above...very thought-provoking, freda

Freda

28/3/2018 01:46:46 pm

I've gone down the list responding in a few words - what a lot of writing I have on my walls! EFT sounds very interesting.

Julia

28/3/2018 02:36:22 pm

Well a lot of your writing on the walls is very positive, freda...as long as they are not ORDERS that make you feel guilty if you don’t follow them! Life is too short to feel guilty, as long as we are basically obeying the real rules...like: did you dust under your bed? Did you clean your sink? (Just kidding!)

Freda

29/3/2018 01:00:46 am

Routine or straghtjacket....hmmm

Julia

29/3/2018 02:47:21 am

Routine or straight-jacket? Good question!!! I propose that at this time in our lives we all announce that we will spend each day as we please, thank you very much! We will still be responsible and kind people, and helpful to our loved ones..but we will not “should” on ourselves any more! More dancing! More laughter! More in the moment!~

Freda

31/3/2018 05:36:08 am

Sounds good Julia!

Simply..self....

Leave a Reply.

Categories

Author

Archives