Some we choose, and some are thrust upon us!

Some are overwhelming and hard to understand or accept, like this pandemic.

Have you noticed changes in relationships?  To have been in lockdown together must have tested many relationships to the limit.  But even less intimate relationships may have undegone changes as people respond in their different ways to the new situations.

I wonder if introverts have become more introverted...lockdown and social restrictions could feel like permission to be an introvert! To be an exttrovert may be even harder in these strange times when so many social norms have been upturned.

Many people have changed their online habits, abandoning social media and taking a break from blogs, both reading them and writing them.  One poll said that only 12% of British people wanted their lives to return to the same as they were before the virus hit.

Have you found that some friends have gone very quiet? (Hard not to worry about them,) And that friends from way back have got in touch? Lovely to know you are remembered fondly and to catch up with their lives!

Have you learned new things about yourself? I have always been happy with my own company on the whole, but I realised I need human contact more than I knew when I didn't have it for a spell. Those early days of strict lockdown were lonely. I have also realised that one of the reasons I like to be out and about seeing other places and people is that I like to be looking at things which are not my responsibility! Much as I love my house and garden and am grateful to have them, I am very aware that cleaning and maintaining them, insuring them and managing them, the responsibility of all of it is all up to me. Do you think this must be why holidays can be so important to us?


Last week I met friends in town for an outdoor coffee in the sunshine. Wonderful!! Will a holiday be next?

 How are you finding the changes? Annd have you changed do you think?

It's all very interesting (though I wish it wasn't happening!)

..if you grow this!

The scent is heavenly but the leaves of the heliotrope have given me fingers which burn. I've had an allergic reaction - my index fingers and thumbs, and my nose cheeks and forehead where I have touched them are bright red and painful. Gloves are a must now when I am handling this plant!

Has anyone else been Kondoing? This week is books. I have an awful lot of books. I love my books, but I can't read so well as I used to.....

The thing is they might come up with a cure for my eye condition! (AMD). So I think I must ask of each book If I could see again clearly would you still spark joy?

Letting the grass grow ha saved me hours of work over several months, and I have loved the wilder look, but meadows do need managed and it's time to cut them now.

Mouse nests and little mouse routes are revealed after the first cut (with hedge trimmer - I can't manage the strimmer). If the little creatures only had the sense to stay outside!

It's really important to remove all the cuttings - you get more wild flowers if you keep the fertiltiy low...Good ecercise!

..that there are buds on the sweet peas?

My three big black pots are usually planted with lush and fulsome bedding plants, but the usual choice was not available this year and I have filled them with lobelia from the supermarket, and all the straggly little seedlings I managed to raise!  A few cornflowers, poppies which were in an envelope marked Dark Plum (they are red), dill, gypsophila which must still be hidden in the middle and my feeble sweet peas.

The effect is quite ethereal and pretty and if the sweet peas flower I will be very happy with it.

It quite suits the wilder look of the rest of the garden.

Have finished Kondoing my wardrobe! There is a surprising abount of stuff to part with...

It seems you have to sign up for emails from Marie Kondo at konmarie.com to get this little meditation video. I can't link to it directly. I do find the emails attractive and short and not too frequent, so you might like to give it a try?

I will keep this on my phone to use anywhere, anytime I need two minutes to chill.

Lovely.

..and a good way to spend dull wet day.  I have tidied tops, bottoms, dresses, nightwear and jackets, and so far have 9 things to part with (two of them unworn :-(. )

Some years ago I bought this necklace at the Saint Nicholas Fair in York from a lovely jeweller called Anna King. It has been a graeat favourite.

I always meant to order more, and to ask if she woould make me slightly shorter ones to sit inside the neckline of my standard Tshirts - a simple look I really like. It took lockdown to make me get around to it! They arrived today adding a little zing to both the day and my wardrobe.

The quality, price and service were all excellent (she arranged to send one to a friend too).  I think you may like a browse of Anna's website here.

Surely not as dangerous as comfort food!

In my style notebook I copied down:

We want that utopian place where comfort meets good looks

 It may be useful to identify the clothes you have that fit those criteria - then buy them in several colours! I have done this with Fly Yaz shoes and fine knit sweaters from Hobbs,

But there are also shabby old things which provide great comfort - A Cotton Traders thick jacket which I put on for outdoors breakfast on coolish mornings, or to snuggle in on the porch as the sun goes down. It's like an old friennd always there at the back door.

You may remember my kagoul which also hangs at the back door fell onto the newly painted floor. I bought a new one and waterproof trousers online - essentials in rural Scotland. Don't quite spark joy but I suppose there is joy in not getting soaked to the skin..

I'm having fun with MK's step by step approach (see link on yesterday's post). It's good to have an overview of all my clothes and figure out what still works and what doesn't.

I had the beach to myself this afternoon.

..in for a pound.

The full Marie Kondo.

Every item of clothing in one pile. No, I'm not going to show you the pile! It is embarassingly large..

But I will show you the three items chosen because they definitely spark joy. MK suggests you do this to remind yourself how to judge if something sparks joy or not. See Day 9 Learn How To Joy Check - how useful a skill!

This may look an unlikely candidate but I feel like myself in this and would happily wear it anywhere. Well maybe not to a wedding..but I have worn it over something quite dressy. It's longer at the back than the front which I really like (not uneven as it looks in this photo) and I will never part with it.  I can't remember how many years I have had it.

This one is new and I have not worn it yet. I love it's simplicity and the fabric, and I have some scandinavian silver jewellery I am looking forward to trying with it. Could be dressed up or dressed down. I think it's going to be a favourite. Instant falling in love in the White Company Shop before lockdown.

Another falling in love (in M&S children's department a couple of Christmases ago!)  Ballerina dreams. Love the moon and stars fabric. and have worn it to two parties and a wedding..


Can you find three things that spark joy and hone your joy checking skills?  As Swissrose says wouldn't it be fun if we could peek into each other's wardrobes here....

Can you find three things that spark joy and hone your Joy Checking skills!
As Swissrose says wouldn't it be fun if we could peek into each other's wardrobes...

My browse through my Simply Stylish posts (see sidebar) reminded me how much fun I have had from clothes in the past.

It does take a bit of effort (see Apply Brain) and some of that effort is pretty mundane.

I tried on all my trousers.  My least favourite item to shop for. I don't make a feature of trousers - if I had  long gorgeous legs I might, but they are a kind of neutral, background item for me. Only one pair felt a good fit and just right so I looked up the label (LauRie) online, and found another pair with 60% off!  My size, my colour. Slim Straight leg, no tabs, zips, pockets, rivets, or bulky seams that spoil a smooth outline. Decent fabric, Free delivery. Yay!

Back to the recycle bin with three old pairs! Ptogress.

I want to feel delighted when i look in my wardrobe

Another small step - I also put like with like. How did it get in such a muddle?

Tell us what you want to feel and what you did with your wardrobe today?



NB Marie Kondo is doing a free 8 week tidy challenge. This week is week 2 and the category is clothes! I am asking myself if I am up to the challenge of her way of doing it - it looks like a huge effort, but I did it a few years ago and loved the result. Are any of you up for it?

Upcoming posts - Fantasy wardrobes, shopping online, the challenge of transitioning to 'normal', is it possible to make plans?, the Keto diet and autophagy....

My wardrobe is telling me it's a bit tired, a bit worn  out, that I hang on to my favourite things waay too long...

I looked through my posts under Simply Stylish and found that I still have many of the things I photgraphed in 2013 and even 2010. I am not necessarily wearing them but - clothes are emotional - memories, guilt,  - I feel such a mixture of emotions I hardly know where to start this time around.

So, next question is What would I like to feel when I look at my wardrobe?l

I have taken some action (I'm going to take this slowly).  I walked down to the Clothing Point recycling centre in the village with the old fleecce dressing gown that has been taking up a lot of space since I got the nice new one last winter. I thanked it for keeping me cosy (thank you Marie Kondo - it does help) and sent it on its way.

So, what would you like to feel when you look at your wardrobe?

Take one positive action now to get you a small step nearer that feeling

Here are some links to posts that might help you get started. Here

And I am still using this little style book.  It's been great.

The hangers spark joy!

..trying to tell you?

I opened my wardrobe and tried to answer this question.

Try it?

More tomorrow....

..but here come the dahlias.

And my favourite film is on iPlayer - This Beautiful Fantastic.

No mouse so far tonight..

..last night as I was too busy chasing a tiny mouse around the sitting room and kitchen! I managed to catch it and put it out into the garden, but an hour later it was back again.

What to do...

..that these three tiny flowers - only one of them fully open - should fill the whole greenhouse with their wonderful sweet and spicy heady scent!  Night scented stock, matthiola bicornis. When there are more I shall pick them for the house.

An online shopping spree that is. To be honest it's because my free trial of Amazon Prime is ending tomorrow so I bought in advance of need woodstain for the shed, white exterior paint for the walls, concrete floor paint for the studio - a job I have already started. My kagoul which hangs by the studio door fell onto the bit I had just painted, so I also ordered a new kagoul.

I got some citronella candles which smell so awful I can't imagine using them, even outdoors, some nice paper to line the kitchen shelves, and a doormat which makes me smile.

Last of the big spenders me..

After the first few weeks of lockdown when I never got out of my gardeining clothes, I had a little online shop and got nearer to a 'capsule wardrobe' than ever before. It's an idea that has always quite appealed to me.

I bought three pairs of chinos and two new T shirts and teamed them up with two summery scarfs which I love.  I only wore the necklace once but it made me feel good when I did.

I would have liked two new pairs of coloured sandshoes, but buying shoes online is tricky and returning them even trickier, so I wore my old very faded but comfortable purple ones.

Simple.

Nice.

Clothes are still my fun.

I heard this on a radio programme many years ago. It was a very serious panel discussion about a major corporation that was in crisis. The discussion got pretty heated and intense and towards the end of it one panel member announced in a calm, authoritative voice:

The trouble with this institution is (Tiny pause. A whiff of scandal?)  that it is riddled, from top to bottom, (you could sense the other panellists sitting forward on their seats) with human beings.

Made me laugh then and it makes me laugh now.

I am having fun with two friends and now with you, choosing the 8 pieces of music I would take with me to a desert island!  I am enjoying taking my time choosing, spending long evenings going through my collection and reading and listening around them - so easy online - different recordings and artists.. but there is only one artist for this one. Oscar Peterson playing Hymn to Freedom.

I taught in an art department where we played a lot of music and this literally stopped me in my tracks.and still does. I have to stop what I am doing if it comes on unexpectedly and just soak it in to my very core.

What will your third choice be, and shy?

Colour is key.

With white or neutral walls a makeover is as simple as changing the dominant colour..

I chose yellow for the kitchen,  bringing out or leaving out everything that is yellow and putting in the cupboards everything that isn't!

No cost and no time at all.

 You can do it with a whole room or with a shelf or a bedside table.

sparks a little joy for me.

This came through my door today..

My first thought was No! I am not remotely ready to think about autumn yet! I am still waiting for my sweet peas to flower for goodness sake.

...about bereavement from Helen Macdonal,. author of H Is For Hawk

She said you don't 'get over it' but 'You slowly become a new person able to hold the grief and love within yourself and continue.'

Some of you will have found as I did that all the time alone during lockdown brought the pain of the loss all back again. I found myself the other day taking out two knives and forks to set the table, and among some papers I was looking through was a card with a beautiful message which Barry had bought to give to me.

You don't get over it, but you do continue..

My heart goes out as I ex[ect yours does, to those who have been bereaved through lockdown and who have to cope alone without the comfort of a funeral and family and friends. So very hard.

Do you have a favourite tray? Why not set it with your best dishes and a pretty flower and send a photo of it to a friend with an invitation to join you ? Ideally in person but even if it's WhatsApp or Zoom, or Facetime..

I just did and she said yes!  Not face to face this time, but soon....

Making a Beeline - an interesting wildflower/wildlife article today.

Indulge me while I have a little nostalgia trip...

Midsummer in central Sweden. First cut down your tree from the forest

Gather armfulls of wild flowers from the surrounding meadows

Make the rings to hang on the maypole

Raise the pole, light the fire to roast the lamb on a spit

Put on your national costume

Walk to the village then back to the feast, the snaps, the songs, the midnight row on the lake and the obligatory dip! 

Spotted on the way to the village

I was an Erasmus student with the friendiest, most hospitable bunch of students you could ever hope to meet.  It was a magical time (part of the course was at the University of Venice). I will never forget it and have celebrated Midsummer, and meadows, ever since.

Skol!