..during my recent blog break.

The new laptop broke down (which was the reason for the break), the electric blanket gave up the ghost, the juicer  bowl stuck to the base, and the sight in my right eye dereriorated further. Oh and the doors of my bus jammed shut with me still on it!

The laptop is fixed, I have a hot wter bottle, with a lot of patience I released the bowl from the juicer and clearly, I got off the bus - though it took a little time. The eye problem is not so easily solved alas, though some tretment is planned which may help.

Otherwise all is well, though it is taking time to get back into the rythm of blogging and I am still having difficulty posting photographs - but am working on it. I have had a few paddles in the loch and some lovely walks, and am still enjoying poetry and the shore most days.

As I was cooking some sausages today it began to snow - at last! So I got all togged up and wandered around the garden with a sausage on a fork.


Are you still in lockdown where you are?

I am so choosy about where I get my information from. Are you?

I want my news from a person, a named person, one with some editorial/peer review/fact checking background. One whose political affiliation and/or vested interests are known. One who is accoountable. And even then I may retain a degree of scepticism! More than one such source is even better.

I don't want information/misinformation from an anonymous algorithm driven search engine, unaccountable to anyone, which targets me with only what it has decided I want to hear - essenially a robot.

Or maybe I will step off my little soapbox and, just for a bit,  let the world get on with what it does, and feed the birds and observe the snowdrops and the stars  :-)

Lovely.

I've never forgotten a history lecturer saying -

Most of us live in the realm of the norm.
 
Thankfully!

 :-)


(I am not at all sure how this stands up in a time when norms have been altered .....but I leave you with the thought.)

 
Still here! Hope you are too.

Have just been planting up a pot with two pretty hellebores and three little ivies from  the supermarket to brighten up the back steps.

I took a lovely photogrpah to show you but.....can't upload it!

 
I've been thinking a lot about news - what it is, and where we get it from. Will write about that tomorrow and about the news from my own ltiny conrer of the world.I do hope all is well in your corner and send warm wishes to all the American readers on this important day.

Sorry!

My new laptop has decided to join the rest of the country and lockdown. 

I may be some time.  Meanwhile, stay safe, stay strong and find some January joy wherever you can.
​

​

Where to find it? I don't think the government are giving amy out, and indulging in what could easily become a morbid obsession with world news is unlikely to provide much, nor is scoffing all the leftover seasonal goodies which I would normally be sharing with visitors but now feel obliged to consume all by myself..and it may be a long wait for the vaccine.

No.

It's time to take back control and assume sovereignty over my own life again.

If I am to find joy in January I will have to look elsewhere. And I think I may have found a beautiful starting point in the lovely Christmas gift of an anthology of poems called Shorelines. (Thank you Maggie!)

I may have found my word too....

Where will you look for joy in January?

Because it is quite important that there is some, don't you think?

 I am setting aside today to Unravel 2020 with Susannah Conway's help She has a free workbook to guide me in looking back in order to look forward....Treating it lightly.

A very short freezing walk to the shore yesterday! I chose to see this wonderful clouod as a good omen - a giant bird of hope for 2021. Funny how we do that...

Susannah Conway also offers a guide to choosing a word for the coming year - that's next. Under consideration are Glad, Recovering, Adventure, Hope and Best.

Will you be choosing a word for 2021?

..of a very strange year, and I don't know how I want to end it here on the blog. What I do know is that I want it to end!
I've never felt like that before.

I am thinking about my word for next year. My word for this year was stronger.

Sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent.

I love these words by Charlie Mackesy.

I have had the laziest Christmas ever..and I've loved it.

Though I did have a frosty barefoot walk this morning, and I do go out to feed the birds.

The house smells wonderful as I have just made these spiced nuts (a Nigella recipe). Toasted in a non stick pan with oil, garam masala, celery salt, muscovado sugar and rosemary they make a lovely nibble with a glass of mulled wine...

Here is another Charlie Makesy bit of wisdom -

'What is the bravest thing you have ever said?' asked the boy.
'Help' said the horse.
'

..the shortest day, and a turning point hopefully!

We need light, lots of light - fairylights, candlelight, and starlight. There will be more daylight from today, and some sunlight would be wonderful (it's been very murky here of late).

I feel for the parents of children young enough to be expecting Santa and old enough to be able to read all the Christmas Is Cancelled headlines. They must have had a lot of reassuring to do today here in uk where much tighter restrictions have been imposed.

The fact is Christmas Day is still Decemberr 25th. We  have to think what kind of meaningful Christmas we can have - a thoughtful one might be nice.

It wasn't cancelled on radio 3 today. Christmas Around Europe was a delight and very moving while I wrapped gifts to get to the post tomorrow, though how I come to be doing so much at the last minute beats me!  I've had all the time in the world after all....

How are your preparations going?

.. is a virus, doing what a virus does - replicating at every opportunty.

It doesn't know or care if you complain, or what tier you are in, or if its fair, (the words fair and virus can't belong in the same sentence). It's not personal or political or rational or evil. It doesn't know we have vaccines. It doesn't know it's Christmas. It doesn't 'know' anything, other than to replicate in human bodies at every opportunity and how to spread to other human bodies whenever and wherever it can. It doesn't know or care that it makes us ill, so ill that some of us wll die.

We, however, know how to reduce it's chances of replicating and spreading. We have  choices to make.

Simple.

Though we may not like it.  :-(

We have controlled many viruses in the past. :-)

We will defeat this one too, of course.

,,is required with this particular robin..

..which is rather shy. In many ways it is easier to tame a robin in summer when it is used to you being about the garden, indeed often keeping you close company as you disturb the soil exposing worms, but possibly in winter it is hungrier, which could be an advantage.

After putting mealworns out in the same place at the same time every day for a while, you will probably find the robin waiting nearby at feeding time, and the next step is for you to wait nearby  - but not too near - until it comes to feed. Gradually, over a week or two, you will nove closer, just standing or sitting quite still as it gets used to your presence.

If you have two robins and one chases the other off, you probably have two males - they are fiercely territorial. But if there are two and they tolerate each other they are most likely a pair. The nale may feed the female which is about the only way you can  tell the sexes apart. They can pair up as early as January.

Not a very good photgraph as this one does not like me to get too close - yet.

The roller-coaster that is Christmas in a time of pandemic.

Anxiety levels are high. Every where and with everyone. It's a pandemic after all.

 Politics/vaccines/tradetalks/supply chains/deadlines/graphs/numbers of dead/scandals/controversies/information and misinformation/masks and social distancing/ schools open/schools closed/changing rules/guidelines/laws/heartbreaks/the 538 decisions required to buy and set up a new laptop and even the simplest of things requires more thought than ever before...

Shopping locally (I am lucky to be in a low risk area) I stepped  into a shop and saw someone I knew at the counter and said Hello. You don't have a flag said the boy behind the cash desk. You've come into the shop without a flag! There are too many people in the shop! His tone of voice suggested the situation was an emergency.

I didn't know what on earth he was talking about and it must have shown on my face as I headed for the exit ( I did understand the bit about too many people in the shop ) as some of the people, trying to be helpful, waved their flags at me. and pointed towards the door.  Nearly, but not quite, toppling a stack of books I found a sign. All shops have at least ten signs most of which I can't read anyway. I have AMD.  By this time I had figured out that you had to have a flag to enter the shop, and someone was taking the last flag and putting it into my hand while telling me how lucky I was that there was one left. I wasn't feeling in the least lucky. I was feeling like some bumbling idiot as I dashed over to my friends and arranged to meet at a nearby coffee shop then got back out as quickly as I could throwing my flag into the box attached to the window.

An outside table at The Boathouse with a view down the calm waters of the Firth of Clyde, friendly service and a good cup of coffee restored my equilibrium a little.  I was at the bus stop when I realised I had walked off without paying for my coffee. I tried phoning my friends who were still at the cafe but by mistake left the message on her home phone instead of her mobile....

I was so glad to get home.

Aaaaargh....Have you had days like this? In the great scheme of things nothing much, but at the time...

!
The first snow, the first Christmas card and the first present all arrived on the same day recently. The new laptop just got set up this morning...give me a day or two to  get the hang of it, but it's so nice to be back here!

I hope you are all well.

But before you go November, taking my cold with you please, here are the last few items on the list which helped me through...

Make a will because it's the right thing to do.

Show the people you love that yu cared enough to save them extra stress and worry by making or updating your will.  A cheap kit from the stationery department (perfectly legal here in uk), a chairty - linked free session soliciotor, or if your affairs are complex an appointment  with a solicitor/lawyer. We don't want to think about this, but for peace of mind we really must.

Make a point of following the rules to help others.

We isolate so that when we gather again no one is missing.

Says it all really.

Make changes to your routine so that you don't get bored.

I've done a little of this (watching less news) but am finding some routines comfortingly normal.

Make love not war

Well, of course.

Make a virtue out of necessity

Tricky one? Many have done things they had been putting off, learned a new skill, put their houses in order......In something of this vein I note the wording of the Scottish Government advice and rules. We have Protection Levels rather than Restriction levels. Clever psychology?

Make the best of it!

Whyever not? What would be the point of making the worst of it after all.


I hope the list was of interest to you, and maybe even helped you make it through.

Now December is about taming a robin.....

.. towards a long term goal....

My longest term goal at the moment is a solo exhibition in October 2021. The venue is booked, the show has a title - Let It Snow - I have titles for the many (as yet unpainted) works which will be required to fill the space, and today I took note of a piece of music I was enjoying which I had not heard before, and have decided I must have playing at the private view.

Here it is. footsteps in the Snow by Debussy. Magical.

Even a baby step towards your long term goal is preogress, or perhaps you would like to come up with a long term goal? I like to have something to plan for and look forward to..

..I said in this post something about distinguishing my own reality from the media reality.

Byron Katie in her book Loving What Is has interesting things to say about reality -

Reality for me is what's true. The truth is whatever is in front of you, whatever is really happening, whether you like it or not.

She described her own reality -  Woman sitting with a cup of tea. In stressful times I check in with myself like this, sometmes several times in a day, asking What is my reality?

Woman sitting at laptop by the light of a lamp. Warm, fed, clothed, sheltered, safe, happy. and In the present.

For a few moments not fretting about the past or worrying about an imagined future, or thinking things should be different than they are. Grounded in reality. Loving what is.

I feel it keeps me honest with myself, and  perhaps it keeps me sane!


What is your reality? The chances are that if you are reading this you are basically okay.

Part of mine as I write this is the heavenly scent of these hyacinths which fills the room and  feeds my soul.


Thinking of you today PennyL!

Half way through November, how are you doing?

The list has meant I have had meals at a beautiful table, too much cake, a wish that came true, though I've not had the starry night experience - so much rain!. There has been lots of music, silly jokes, a donation (through sudden tears) to the hospice where Barry was cared for, and lots of flower arrangements. I have plenty of time and used some of it to finalise my Desert Island Disc selection over a couple of pleasant evenings. I made a promise to myself to use my word for the year to support me every day, and I made contact with more people (I had to be brave and risk rejection...).  I have made up my mind to keep going till the end of November with it.

There are still problems and dark days - a funeral I couldn't attend,  but this daily focus on achieveing something helps me along, makes me stronger.

All the restrictions are for the sake of helping one another after all, and though still some way off an end is in sight.

And the forest is still beautiful, even on a rainy day

..about something you have been dithering about.

Do you find yourself thinking 'I could just do it tomorrow' these days? Especially if you are in lockdown?

Such daily dithering over small decisions had become a habit until recently when my word for the year came to my rescue. My word is stronger (did you choose a word way back then?). What a choice for this challenging year! But wouldn't it be wonderful if I feel a stronger person at the end of it?

So when I found myself thinking Will I do this now or will I just leave it till tomorrow ' I made myself ask Would it make me stronger to do it now? The answer is not always yes, but it usually is!

Would it make me stronger to deal with this issue?

Would it make me stronger to take this action?

I can ask this question of almost any thought and yes, I feel more positive, more active and  happier.

It might be tthat you have been dithering over a big important decision. Try asking this question and think of the relief you will probably feel when you have made up your mind!

I think my duck is looking longingly at this beautiful lake...thank you Liz!


 Blue Zone researchers  say that 5 - 6 hours of social contact each day is common among the happiest and longest living people on the planet. Currently some of us  are lucky to get 5 - 6 hours a week!

So maybe we can all help by making contact with someone. Perhaps someone we like but have not been in touch with for a while,  or with a neighbour, or someone who lives alone. It can make all the difference in the world to everyone's wellbeing and is free, easy  and takes little time. It can even be as simple as making eye contact over your mask. A call, a text, a smile, a card, a wave, a comment here :-) Or a regular letter to anyone you know who doesn't for whatever reason use the available technology.


I think this is a really important contribution. Would you agree?

You;ll be glad you did.

It's very rarely that if I push myself to make a little more effort I regret it afterwards.


They say A man of words and not of deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.

Oops..

Well I call them wild flowers, though those reeds are definitely weeds and the alchemilla has become a weed,  but I do need to make more effort here, and I'll be glad I did come Spring!


I was interested in this article by Mariella Frostrup about the escalation of intolerance she sees, and the volatiltiy of emotions (see second paragraph of her reply). Big challenge, big effort required.

for something you really want to do is the eighth item on my making it through list.  If you are one of the millions who are still working hard to keep our countries functioning this is especially important for you! And harder I expect.

I have more time than I have had for years, but the things I really want to do that don't involve  friends and family, I have rather lost sight of...

There are lots of things I ought to do, and am doing - putting my house in order is feeling good as I get many neglected jobs done. But I am finding it hard to think of what I really want to do. I want to overcome the mental and physical lethargy that threatens all the time, and my list is helping with that.

I have been wanting to finish my Desert Island Discs selection for a while, so maybe I should do that so that if I suddenly get famous and they invite me onto the programme I will be ready.  :-)

What do you want to make time for?

Time for a snack, and pears are at their juicy best.

Or sweet clementines from Spain?  Tree ripened and hand picked, in a wooden basket.